Are We Ready for This?
June 23rd, 2010
Yesterday was an interesting day. The morning at work began fine, outwardly, but my heart and mind were not in the right place. This showed up in a lack of kindness to some of my co-workers.
In the afternoon, this lack of harmony, as if reflecting itself in the world around me, began to express itself: we found out that a key component of the Clarity Magazine site had broken.
While I was trying to fix this, I accidentally took down our network-wide backup, which supports perhaps 60 people or more and is one of the most important things that our IT department works on. (Peter’s classic comment: “Well, I was looking for something to do!”)
Later, another bug came up, this time on Ananda.org. Fixing it was like something between talking to a blank wall and banging my head on my desk.
Okay, all that sounds… unfortunate. Parts of it I found funny at the time, and other parts I didn’t. Poetically, I imagined above my head, floating just under the ceiling, a light grey cloud.
After spending over an hour on this last problem, continually making small changes, testing, tweaking, and checking, it went away.
In the website troubleshooting world, you want to know why something was fixed, and I frantically tried different things, attempting to backtrack. It wasn’t possible. It was all okay, and the bug was gone, I just clearly had no control over it.
Okay. Finally, it was time to breathe — something I should have been doing more of all along!
In that moment of relaxation (the calm after the storm), I decided that my Guru and God had fixed the problem. I imagined God looking at me and saying, “You do not decide the outcome of what you do; I haven’t given humanity that choice.”
A nice idea, I reflected. We don’t choose the result of our actions.
This is surely true in finance — can we prevent an unexpected disease, fire, or relative needing money? — in relationships, where people can and do act whatever way they wish; and even in ourselves. It’s common for people (including myself) to have difficulty controlling even their emotions.
All we can really control, the famous Indian saint, Anandamoyee Ma said, is whether we think of God or not. (!!) And Swami Kriyananda, who has quoted this often, has also pointed out that when we think of God, everything goes well, and when we don’t, things fall apart.
Yesterday was humbling. But, well, Lord, You are the Doer. Maybe the best we can hope for, when tests come, is to be awake and ready enough to change. So the question is…
Are we ready to change?
Posts from Nabha Cosley
- How I Found My Guru
- Steve Jobs and the Autobiography of a Yogi
- My First Prayer Was About a Cat
- An Open Letter to Myself Before My Move to Ananda Village
- Day by Day
- The Prayer of Discipleship
- It’s Never Too Late
- “I Will” – A Tribute to Nayaswami Maria
- Behind the Scenes of the “Rescuing Yogananda” Website
- The Trip to Los Angeles
- Are We Ready for This?
- My First Three Months of Meditation
- Much More is Needed
- The Joy of Renunciation – What I’m Telling My Family About My Lifetime Monastic Vows
- Why Be Grateful? — Thoughts from Thanksgiving
- Writing Swami Kriyananda’s Website
- No Regrets
- What Makes Something a Success? (The Story of an Ananda-Style Photo Shoot)
- Daily Inspiration
- The Job of the Guru
- Ananda’s Future
- Dramatic Improvisation for Fun and Spiritual Upliftment
- Smoke, Clouds; Moods, Depression; and Freedom
- How Living in Spiritual Community is Changing the Way I See the World
- The Deer of Ananda Village
- My Parents Visit Ananda Village
- Why I Became a Monk
- Every Kriya Can Take Us To God
- Tea with Swami Kriyananda
- Life is Precious
- Paintings from the Joyful Arts Festival
- Prayer Vigil for Swami Kriyananda
- How to Build a Monastery
- The Easiest Way to God
- Traveling Within in India, Part 2: Our Visit to Vanamali Devi
- Traveling Within in India: Our Pilgrimage to Rishikesh, Part 1
- How to Start Meditating Daily
- Sweetness, Sincerity, and Swami Kriyananda
- Meditating in India
- What is Ananda?
- Thanksgiving blessings, and a way to develop gratitude
- Tibetan Buddhists visit the Ananda Meditation Retreat