Menu
Home > Ask > Relationships

Ask Ananda’s Experts
Questions and answers about meditation, yoga, the spiritual life, and more

Ask a question

Category: Relationships

  Page 1 of 15   Next

sangeeta
India

Question

Thank you so much in advance for taking time to answer my question! How do I deal with a situation where two people who are very very close to my heart are in conflict? If I try to speak, one of them gets hurt and I do not want them to get hurt. I try my best to help them but nothing seems to be working. One of them is extremely emotional and its hard to tell him anything, so I just say yes for everything. How do I handle this situation? It pains to see them suffering.

Kristy Fassler-Hecht

Kristy Fassler-Hecht

Ananda Maine

Answer

Dear Sangeeta,

As I understand your situation, you are very close to two other individuals who do not get along. You are trying to help them resolve their disharmony with each other so there may be harmony between the three of you. You mention one person is very emotional and you simply say yes to everything he asks to keep the peace. You suffer with their suffering and would like to resolve the issues to relieve everyone’s pain including your own.

Sangita
India

Question

Hi,

I am generally patient and respectful with people around me, and am considered to be calm and polite. However, at times we come across people who are excessively rude and harsh, and behave like a dangerous explosive as soon as we come into contact with them, for no reason. Such people are very, very difficult to handle. It can be anyone; the local grocer, a bus conductor, an auto driver, or some acquaintance. How do we handle such people? I often lose my temper with them and have a big time clash.

Nayaswami Pranaba

Nayaswami Pranaba

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear Sangita,

Here is something that can be very helpful when you are dealing with tensions involving other people:

Step back mentally from the situation or the person that is causing you stress; curb your instinct to react immediately.

Breathe Use abdominal (belly) breathing; deep breathing naturally relaxes the body. For deep breathing — be sure to inhale and exhale only through the nose. Let the abdomen expand outward with your inhalation and release back in with your exhalation.

Nichole
France

Question

I’ve been in a committed relationship for 4 years, but my friend and I have grown feelings for each other. My boyfriend loves me very much, and so does my friend. Both are lovely, spiritual people, and I love them both for different reasons. Part of me wants to leave my boyfriend as a new relationship will be fun and exciting, but this will hurt him and shatter the life we have built together. My friend wants to be with me so there'll be heartache regardless of who I choose. What should I do?

Nayaswami Diksha

Nayaswami Diksha

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear Nichole,

To be in a committed relationship is to be loyal to one person and not share your intimate feelings with someone else. The fact that you have opened your heart to someone else means that you are not committed to your boyfriend anymore.

True, intimate relationship requires loyalty, respect, and honesty on all levels. Fun and excitement are fleeting and shallow. If you are looking for a long-term, committed relationship, there is a need for maturity and willingness to be with each other not only during fun and exciting times but also during the ups and downs of life.

Peter
South Africa

Question

Greetings, I thank the grace of the Lord. I would like to ask this. I am a young man of 26 years of age. I am dedicated in meditation and focused in this spiritual path, I always look up to expanding my spiritual life. The thing is I have spend long time being a single young man, It’s difficult to get into a relationship with a girl due to the focus into spirituality and not wanting to loose it. So then is it good to get into a relationship as a young man while persuing spiritual growth?

Nayaswami Diksha

Nayaswami Diksha

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear Peter,

It’s inspiring to read about your dedication and focus on the spiritual path.

There is no inherent conflict in pursuing the spiritual path and having a relationship, regardless of whether one is young or old.

If you feel the desire to be in a relationship, you need to be wise in choosing a woman who will have the same spiritual interests as you, and will support your dedication to the spiritual path, just as you will support her spiritually.

milton
usa

Question

How do I reconcile spiritual differences with my spouse? I want a deeper spiritual life and my spouse in not interested yet and I’ve been waiting and praying for twenty years.

Nayaswami Parvati

Nayaswami Parvati

Ananda Village

Answer

This is a difficult situation to be in. I don’t think I can answer this for you. But if your spouse isn’t interested in a deeper spiritual life after living with you for 20 years, it seems that it probably isn’t going to happen in this lifetime.

Yogananda said that environment is stronger than will power, and if you have been in a 20 year relationship that’s a fairly strong environment. Something will have to give one way or the other. I have to assume that you’ve tried many things over 20 years to make this work within the relationship before writing such a question.

June 12
2014

sarthak
india

Question

Why do my friends think that I don’t understand them when I’m solving a problem between my friend and his girlfrien. I tell the girlfriend to not to tell anything that I told her to anyone else but she does that and then my best friend betrays me. Can anyone please me how to solve this?

Nayaswami Seva

Nayaswami Seva

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear Sarthak,

We learn so much from these interactions. First not to get between couples. Sometimes friends just want to express their thoughts and are not really interested in advice. It’s best then to just let them talk. Be a friend in understanding, commenting only on bringing the discussion to a higher level of consciousness.

R
India

Question

Is it ok to snoop on someone before starting a relationship for a background check, or even on someone whom we are in a relationship with and have sensed dishonest traits about the other person and not willing to tell the truth? I guess it is ok as long as our intention is not to harm but protect ourselves. Or should we keep praying to God to turn around things for the better and not snoop, as snooping is dishonest and even we won’t feel God if someone snoops on us?

Nayaswami Hriman

Nayaswami Hriman

Ananda Seattle

Answer

Dear R:

You state that your intention is not to harm the other but protect yourself. I suppose that certain types of inquires might be appropriate. Asking the advice of friends and family, for example. Consulting a wise and experienced marriage counselor, for example.

Pat Wolff
USA

Question

I’m struggling to understand if I have the right attitude. There was a man at work who tried to attract my attention and I would not give him any acknowledgement. I had no reason to speak him about any work related questions so I avoided even walking by his cubicle to prevent more occasions when he would try to force me to acknowledge him. I was forced to retire so the situation is resolved that way but after today’s webinar, I wonder if I am free of whatever caused the issue.

Nayaswami Parvati

Nayaswami Parvati

Ananda Village

Answer

This is a very good question. From what you have described, I would say that it’s not as much about your attitude, as it is about understanding the workings of energy and magnetism. I would like to give you a little background on this subject before addressing your particular situation.

  Page 1 of 15   Next