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Jen
Israel

Question

Im on the spiritual path and this is the most important thing in my life, my partner is jewish and we have three years living together. I love him so much but he feels very bad about my path,since the last year that I started seriously. Because of his beliefs, he think that is bad lucky that I meditate and so on. he never never said me dont do it but im scared, I think he is going down psychologically with fears, he loves me. we are so confused please help me, what can I do, im so scared

Nayaswami Diksha

Nayaswami Diksha

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear Jen,

It sounds like you have clarity in one area: The spiritual path is the most important thing in your life.

Because of the confusion in your intimate relationship avoid trying to guess how your partner feels and thinks. The most important thing to do right now is to TALK with each other: communicate clearly and honestly with each other how you feel, what is important to you, what are your fears, what are you willing to compromise, and what you are not willing to. This will give both of you a clear picture of where each person is and whether you want to continue being together.

APS
India

Question

Hello Ananda Family,

Firstly would like to thank you all from my heart for answering each and every question with patience and love. God bless you All.

My Question is out of curiosity.

Q: How have all Great Masters in past maintained the relationships with their siblings, even after attaining enlightenment? Although I have heard that there is no mine or yours left after enlightenment, but still others might not be in same state as they were.

Thanks

Nayaswami Diksha

Nayaswami Diksha

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear friend, APS,

If you haven’t yet read Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramhansa Yogananda, you will enjoy it and may find your answers there.

Yogananda had seven brothers and sisters. As he writes of himself, you can see him entering into the play of a "normal" childhood relationship with his siblings. If you also read the book, Mejda, written by his brother about Yogananda’s life, you see that his family always realized there was something special about Yogananda.

Tanya
UK

Question

I am married to a good man who always supports me and treats me well. I also try to be supportive, kind and good to him. I would love him to share my interests: meditate like I do, be interested in yoga and other things that enjoy like sport, travelling, and walking. But, unlike me he spends a lot of time watching TV/films and browsing the internet. I feel that despite having a reasonably good marriage, he is probably not my soulmate and my heart is longing for finding my soulmate. What shall I do?

Nayaswami Savitri

Nayaswami Savitri

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear Tanya,

One’s marriage vows are to be taken very seriously. It is not a good thing to be thinking that “surely the grass must be greener with someone else” — when this may not be true at all, or, “... if I find my true soul mate, surely then I'll be happy.” Please read my blog on “Soul Mates” at for more details on this subject.

September 8
2014

raina
sweden

Question

It seems that family, children, and spouse are the most powerful attachments I feel. If one is attached to their family and still wishes to be free from all attachments, how do they gradually find freedom from this without showing less love and care?

Nayaswami Hriman

Nayaswami Hriman

Ananda Seattle

Answer

Dear Raina,

Our natural bonds of love for our family are the most difficult of relationships in which to understand what nonattachment and freedom means. Yet: it is through our close relationships that we have the greatest spiritual opportunities to grow. Begin by contemplating the spiritual and virtuous qualities of each family member; add to this, contemplating that those qualities and virtues are attributes (aspects) of God, of our souls. Bit by bit, then, begin to see your loved ones not just for their personalities but for their soul qualities, like rays of God’s presence shining through them. With practice and time, you will feel more and more that you are seeing God in each of them, and not just a person who is special to you or different from all others.

September 8
2014

Sangita
India

Question

I find it difficult to say no when people demand or request something even if it causes me inconvenience. Some people are very pushy and simply not ready to respect my convenience. If I deal with them sternly some understand while others feel offended. Even if their offense is unjustified, I feel guilty if they show disappointment and try to make up in some way or the other. It stresses me. How do I deal with them?

Nayaswami Diksha

Nayaswami Diksha

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear Sangita,

To relate to other people’s needs in a balanced way, it’s important to develop healthy boundaries. Everyone needs them, yet establishing them take time and patience. It comes through trial and error, and it is time for you to begin that process. You will make mistakes, and that is part of getting clear.

sangeeta
India

Question

Thank you so much in advance for taking time to answer my question! How do I deal with a situation where two people who are very very close to my heart are in conflict? If I try to speak, one of them gets hurt and I do not want them to get hurt. I try my best to help them but nothing seems to be working. One of them is extremely emotional and its hard to tell him anything, so I just say yes for everything. How do I handle this situation? It pains to see them suffering.

Kristy Fassler-Hecht

Kristy Fassler-Hecht

Ananda Maine

Answer

Dear Sangeeta,

As I understand your situation, you are very close to two other individuals who do not get along. You are trying to help them resolve their disharmony with each other so there may be harmony between the three of you. You mention one person is very emotional and you simply say yes to everything he asks to keep the peace. You suffer with their suffering and would like to resolve the issues to relieve everyone’s pain including your own.

Sangita
India

Question

Hi,

I am generally patient and respectful with people around me, and am considered to be calm and polite. However, at times we come across people who are excessively rude and harsh, and behave like a dangerous explosive as soon as we come into contact with them, for no reason. Such people are very, very difficult to handle. It can be anyone; the local grocer, a bus conductor, an auto driver, or some acquaintance. How do we handle such people? I often lose my temper with them and have a big time clash.

Nayaswami Pranaba

Nayaswami Pranaba

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear Sangita,

Here is something that can be very helpful when you are dealing with tensions involving other people:

Step back mentally from the situation or the person that is causing you stress; curb your instinct to react immediately.

Breathe Use abdominal (belly) breathing; deep breathing naturally relaxes the body. For deep breathing — be sure to inhale and exhale only through the nose. Let the abdomen expand outward with your inhalation and release back in with your exhalation.

Nichole
France

Question

I’ve been in a committed relationship for 4 years, but my friend and I have grown feelings for each other. My boyfriend loves me very much, and so does my friend. Both are lovely, spiritual people, and I love them both for different reasons. Part of me wants to leave my boyfriend as a new relationship will be fun and exciting, but this will hurt him and shatter the life we have built together. My friend wants to be with me so there'll be heartache regardless of who I choose. What should I do?

Nayaswami Diksha

Nayaswami Diksha

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear Nichole,

To be in a committed relationship is to be loyal to one person and not share your intimate feelings with someone else. The fact that you have opened your heart to someone else means that you are not committed to your boyfriend anymore.

True, intimate relationship requires loyalty, respect, and honesty on all levels. Fun and excitement are fleeting and shallow. If you are looking for a long-term, committed relationship, there is a need for maturity and willingness to be with each other not only during fun and exciting times but also during the ups and downs of life.

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