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Peter
South Africa

Question

Greetings, I thank the grace of the Lord. I would like to ask this. I am a young man of 26 years of age. I am dedicated in meditation and focused in this spiritual path, I always look up to expanding my spiritual life. The thing is I have spend long time being a single young man, It’s difficult to get into a relationship with a girl due to the focus into spirituality and not wanting to loose it. So then is it good to get into a relationship as a young man while persuing spiritual growth?

Nayaswami Diksha

Nayaswami Diksha

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear Peter,

It’s inspiring to read about your dedication and focus on the spiritual path.

There is no inherent conflict in pursuing the spiritual path and having a relationship, regardless of whether one is young or old.

If you feel the desire to be in a relationship, you need to be wise in choosing a woman who will have the same spiritual interests as you, and will support your dedication to the spiritual path, just as you will support her spiritually.

milton
usa

Question

How do I reconcile spiritual differences with my spouse? I want a deeper spiritual life and my spouse in not interested yet and I’ve been waiting and praying for twenty years.

Nayaswami Parvati

Nayaswami Parvati

Ananda Village

Answer

This is a difficult situation to be in. I don’t think I can answer this for you. But if your spouse isn’t interested in a deeper spiritual life after living with you for 20 years, it seems that it probably isn’t going to happen in this lifetime.

Yogananda said that environment is stronger than will power, and if you have been in a 20 year relationship that’s a fairly strong environment. Something will have to give one way or the other. I have to assume that you’ve tried many things over 20 years to make this work within the relationship before writing such a question.

June 12
2014

sarthak
india

Question

Why do my friends think that I don’t understand them when I’m solving a problem between my friend and his girlfrien. I tell the girlfriend to not to tell anything that I told her to anyone else but she does that and then my best friend betrays me. Can anyone please me how to solve this?

Nayaswami Seva

Nayaswami Seva

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear Sarthak,

We learn so much from these interactions. First not to get between couples. Sometimes friends just want to express their thoughts and are not really interested in advice. It’s best then to just let them talk. Be a friend in understanding, commenting only on bringing the discussion to a higher level of consciousness.

R
India

Question

Is it ok to snoop on someone before starting a relationship for a background check, or even on someone whom we are in a relationship with and have sensed dishonest traits about the other person and not willing to tell the truth? I guess it is ok as long as our intention is not to harm but protect ourselves. Or should we keep praying to God to turn around things for the better and not snoop, as snooping is dishonest and even we won’t feel God if someone snoops on us?

Nayaswami Hriman

Nayaswami Hriman

Ananda Seattle

Answer

Dear R:

You state that your intention is not to harm the other but protect yourself. I suppose that certain types of inquires might be appropriate. Asking the advice of friends and family, for example. Consulting a wise and experienced marriage counselor, for example.

Pat Wolff
USA

Question

I’m struggling to understand if I have the right attitude. There was a man at work who tried to attract my attention and I would not give him any acknowledgement. I had no reason to speak him about any work related questions so I avoided even walking by his cubicle to prevent more occasions when he would try to force me to acknowledge him. I was forced to retire so the situation is resolved that way but after today’s webinar, I wonder if I am free of whatever caused the issue.

Nayaswami Parvati

Nayaswami Parvati

Ananda Village

Answer

This is a very good question. From what you have described, I would say that it’s not as much about your attitude, as it is about understanding the workings of energy and magnetism. I would like to give you a little background on this subject before addressing your particular situation.

shayne
singapore

Question

There a girl that I like. I have confessed my feelings to her but there is just this one obstacle between me and her. I actually younger than her by one year and she minds it. How do I change this?

Nayaswami Hriman

Nayaswami Hriman

Ananda Seattle

Answer

Dear Shayne,

One year difference in age is not very much by adult-age standards. So perhaps you both are still quite young! Nonetheless, we who practice meditation and yoga and who speak of past lives find one year to be insignificant! Speak to her about friendship and that friends are always friends regardless of their differences, which in this case, are slight. At age 33, one year of life is only a 3% difference — almost insignificant!

February 24
2014

RN
nz

Question

Hi, I always find it hard to progress with friendships beyond the first initial contact. How do you earn people‘s respect, friendship, and caring attitude? How do you learn which people are worth your time and which are using you? Or which are jealous of you. I am considered an attractive female and extremely sensitive and shy. This combination always makes it hard for me to open up discussions or immerse myself in conversations where people don't ask me questions or I am asking all the questions etc.

Nayaswami Sahaja

Nayaswami Sahaja

Ananda Village

Answer

Dear one,

Our dear Swami Kriyananda, aka J. Donald Walters, wrote a wonderful little booklet called Secrets of Friendship.

My suggestions here are based on those “Secrets”.

First of all you must be a friend. You can do this by demanding nothing from others but instead showing appreciation. Don’t worry about getting friends to listen to you, actively listen to them. Take action when a friend needs help.

February 24
2014

N
India

Question

Dear Nayaswami Hriman, I’ve recently started dating a man, who as it turns out, is an atheist. We’re still getting to know each other, but I feel like this bit of info has thrown me off. It’s not that I feel superior because of my meditation practice (which he says he’d like to learn) but I feel like I am constantly looking for flaws in him now. Like a bad temper, unkindness, horns(!!) I am praying for help and guidance, but feel like something’s “stuck” in my heart! What should I do? :(

Nayaswami Hriman

Nayaswami Hriman

Ananda Seattle

Answer

Dear Friend,

As Paramhansa Yogananda (and many others) have said, “Your beliefs won’t save you.” This is as true for religionists as for atheists! Or as Ralph Waldo Emerson once put it, “Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear your words.”

How often do we see orthodox believers who believe all the “right” things but who treat others unkindly or with judgment?

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