Why was I raped? Who would possibley want any aspect of energy to go through a life as hellish as this one. I don’t care if it will all benefit me after, I don’t care if its a lesson to learn. I know we are all ultimately one. Being raped is too much/too hard to get over. No-one should ever let a little aspect of energy like me suffer so much. It is too hard! What the hell is the point of it all? Why has God forsaken me, I feel like this!!
What great upset you are going through. Having such a trauma happen is very difficult to deal with. You do have some of the answers in your question and do know that ultimately we must all forgive abuses and betrayals.
What we don’t realize when going through such an experience is that when we carry it with us and remind ourselves constantly of it, we deepen that experience. Your brain thinks that you want to continue reliving the experience and so it won’t let it go. There comes a time when you must let go, or it will consume you. You will then draw more of this kind of action to yourself through contantly thinking about it. Either you will do harm to someone else or you will draw more harm from them. Do not continue in this pattern.
God is not giving you this experience. He is a loving God and wants you to give up this anger and hatred so that you can become free. To become free and to find happiness is to start loving with His love. Only through loving others will you understand and change. You need to choose the right action for yourself — choose the light dear soul.
Bless you, Seva