I am only 27, had joined a raja yoga for sometime, had to leave due to peer pressure, but by then I had transformed myself a lot. Lost I began to meditate with head phones in my ear and eyes closed it got me more lost. For I long time I practised gazing at a point without a wink and believe me I can stare away anyone... but it had made me more dejected. that shows on my face. At times a thought comes and not able to detach from it. Mind becomes very restless. Am not getting anyone to help me out.
The spiritual path requires three essential things: The devotee’s earnest and unrelenting seeking of truth or God, a true guru, and devotion towards God and guru.
As I read your question I’m not clear that any of these three elements are part of your spiritual life or practices. I strongly urge you to develop devotion toward God and Guru in every aspect of your life. Do not focus on feeling lost and dejected. Offer these feelings to Divine Mother and ask her to purify you of all obstacles preventing you from feeling love for Her.
As you are in India, it would be helpful to reconnect with the local Ananda Community and get back in the Raja course. Stay strong in your commitment to this spiritual path and daily ask for Divine Mother’s guidance in your life and spiritual practices.
Environment is stronger than will. Stay in uplifting company like the Ananda group near you and do whatever you can to serve God and guru locally with your Ananda friends. You will find Divine strength and happiness flowing through you once you dedicate yourself to serving this liberating path of self realization.
The most important thing is to offer yourself in loving service and devotion to the Supreme Lord. Ask Divine Mother to teach you to love Her more perfectly.
God and guru bless you, Kristy