At once I apologize for translation quality! My possession of English is far from perfect, translated by means of the Internet.
I would like to know for myself: whether there is I on a right way? Whether my thoughts in the correct party? Sometimes it seems to me that I don’t have not enough eagerness! Sometimes I give in to temptation, I don’t have not enough will power!!
What will you tell about it?
Thank you very much!
P.S. Excuse, there was no place to describe a problem completely!
Your questions are very natural, and every seeker feels this way at times: my thoughts are wrong, I don’t have enough divine desire, I give in to temptations, I don’t use my will power enough. Yes, we do fall short of our expectations on a regular basis. This is part of the process.
So the question is not, “How can I avoid falling short of my expectations?” The question is, “What should I do about it?” Here are two things to do.
First, work on strengthening your weaknesses.
If your devotion is lacking, then practice it: sing your favorite devotional chant, over and over; constantly call to God or repeat God’s name; or simply pray for more devotion.
If you give in too often to temptations, then choose some of them that are easier to resist, and resist them. If you don’t use your will power enough, choose one or two relatively easy circumstances in which to use your will power, and do it.
In these ways, your devotion, self-control, and will power will grow stronger, and you will be able to apply them more in more-difficult situations, and grow stronger still.
Second, when the inevitable happens and you fall short of your expectations, do not wallow in failure. Say to yourself very strongly, "I have not yet succeeded, but I will." Then be vigilant in looking for the next time that same opportunity arises, so you can succeed. Tell God that you want those opportunities. And if you don’t succeed the second time, then resolve to succeed on the third time. In time you will grow stronger, and you will draw God’s grace.
There is no quick and easy solution, but through your effort and God’s grace, good things will happen. So pray for God’s help, but don’t forget to do your part: be persistent, and refuse to be discouraged. That is how you will be able to draw upon God’s grace and make the deeper changes you want to make.