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April 19
2012
Manasi
India
Can love be defined as attention?
Thank you!
Dear Manasi,
I wouldn’t use that term as a definition of love, but then I’m not clear as to what you mean by your question. Please do clarify what you are asking.
Joy to you,
Seva
April 3
2012
katrina
usa
My partner and I are both kriyabans. We are married and dedicated to finding God. My question is about my partner who seems less and less interested in the physical aspects of our intimacy and more and more interested in going deeper into God. This means that his desire for celibacy is stronger than mine and sometimes I feel like he doesn’t care for me as much as he used to. Please give me some advice, thank you and jai guru!
Dear Friend,
Have you attempted to discuss this with your partner? If he is indeed consciously making the effort to be self-controlled and less physical, it is very difficult to separate that from a withdrawal of feelings of caring and love. However, it is by no means impossible.
March 30
2012
j eff
france
a new friend ive met on line is spiritually wise but so cold
how can someone be so spiritual yet so cold human wise
i feel like im communicating with death;
Dear Jeff,
Your question has several elements that need attention.
One is the perceived contradiction that a spiritual person can appear humanly cold. Some souls manifest primarily the quality of wisdom and perhaps your new friend is such a soul.
March 29
2012
Roberta Nowlin
USA
My brother is new at his job in a small office. His boss is temperamental and prone to short, angry outbursts and sharp criticism of Tom. He is miserable and is ready to quit. What advice could you offer to help him maintain his peace of mind and his work. (He is learning some valuable skills there.) He has a pattern of starting and then quitting when personalities around him get under his skin.
Dear Roberta,
There is so much in this question to answer. Life on this planet is difficult at best, especially when you are not listening to all that is happening around you, and also if you are expecting things to be different than what they are.
Not only do we all need to understand how things really are, but we need to accept them and feel good about that.
February 18
2012
FM
USA
What is the right attitude to have towards those that mistreat(ed) us? It is difficult for me to feel love toward them like Swamiji feels toward Daya Mata,for ex. On one hand everything that comes to us is from Divine Mother, on the other it’s from our karma. It is difficult to be grateful for certain hurts and to see them as coming from God. But if it comes from karma, thinking that “it happened because I deserved it” doesn’t feel right either. I do kriya and know the peace and harmony prayer.
Dear One,
You ask a very good question that has a multitude of “right” answers. And, depending on the how you were mistreated developing the “right” attitude doesn’t make the hurt automatically go away. Until we learn how to redefine the hurt as a sensation the hurt can be quite painful until we choose to feel guru’s grace.
February 17
2012
MJO
US
When working with other people and I disagree w/ their opinion, how can I know when to go along w/ them vs try to persuade them or tell them they must do it my way? Even when I am the boss, I want to create harmony and be open to other ways but I often have anger for many days after giving in. Is it good not to give yourself your way most of the time, even if you can, as a way to deprive the ego? If someone tries to get their way, even if it is not right or borderline, should I give in anyway?
One way to know whether to listen to other people’s opinions is to have an overall vision of where you are going. Otherwise, how will you be able to understand this?
Being in a leadership position means that you are the one responsible for creating harmony among the group (it’s a big part of your job) and for bringing the larger vision of what you are working on into focus for all those who work with you.
February 14
2012
yogi
United States
What are some helpful techniques for letting go of a strong emotional attachment for a particular person? I know, intellectually, that I am complete in myself; that I belong to know one and no one belongs to me. But I’ve not realized that truth. I’m compelled to interact with this person almost daily. It’s unavoidable. But It is, potentially, a divine friendship because I automatically want to share the love I feel for this person with everyone. How can I let go and love without attachment?
Dear Yogi,
It’s probably true to say all of us on the planet feel attachment to at least one other soul until we are Self Realized. Thus, you are not alone!
Rather than focusing on your attachment, I suggest you focus on spiritualizing the relationship.
February 9
2012
Aditi
India
Namaste.
I suffer from a bad problem. Whenever I fall in love with someone I tend to give all my self in loving that person and forget about the rest of the world. But most of the time that relationship ends dramatically and I suffer tremendously. How can I develop the power of not concentrating on that person solely?
Dearest Aditi,
Thank you for your question. It is important for all of us to remember that we have to continually expand our love and compassion — not just to our spouse and family members, but to everyone.
Here is a beautiful message from Paramhansa Yogananda on the subject:
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© Ananda Church of Self-Realization 2012
