From Pain to Bliss, and Back
My spouse had been unfaithful with one of my closest friends, a double betrayal. At the crux of the pain I had an awakening and felt the overwhelming sense of pure love and light. It is an indescribable feeling, I not only saw a beauty in what had happened but a thankfulness for it. This sense led me to contact others and resolve other conflicts. friends worried about me. I lived thus for 6 months but over time I have lost the ability to stay in this state. Is there a way to maintain this joy?
I applaud your ability to be open to the light, despite your pain. God's grace could not have come to you if you hadn't been inviting it on some level. Six months of that grace is truly a blessing, especially if it was unasked-for.
Such blessings are often temporary, and for good reason, because they can cause us to begin to coast in our spiritual lives, rather than to put out the high level of energy that alone can keep us in the light.
For now, I suggest that you find your joy in putting out that high level of energy itself, even if it doesn't bring something similar to what you enjoyed earlier. Don't try to duplicate what went before, because expectations all too easily blind us to what is really trying to happen. Simply do your very best spiritually: meditate regularly and as deeply as you can, pray to feel God's presence, serve others in a spirit of freedom, and make a conscious decision to be happy at all times. God will give you what is right for you at this time in your life.
Again, don't try to duplicate the past. Just do your part in the present, and give the results to God.
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