“I Have Become Very Bitter in Life”

Dear Shweta,

You mention the word “bitterness” twice as well as referring to disappointments regarding disloyalty and pain given by those close to you. You have recognized the cost to you in taking on and absorbing their energies, whether they intended their inflictions or not. Associating with environments, behaviors, people, all have an effect on. As Yogananda, our guru, said, “Environment is stronger than willpower.” Sometimes we have to run away from circumstances that pull us down. But often we are unable to and have to absorb the slings and arrows of what is playing out in and around us. First see that attacks are not personal and ultimately have no power over you. You come to know that through your empowering practice of Kriya, including Hong-Sau and Energization, practiced regularly and consistently. This is how you build your strength and your knowing, your assuredness of the power already within you. Be realistic too and don’t allow yourself to be subjected to anyone’s or anything’s contracting, belittlement of you, the immortal soul. You are that ever-expansive soul and no one can take it away from you.

OK, so you are doing your Kriya and still feeling embittered. First, review your techniques. Check your progress and perhaps even have someone check them for you. Secondly, and pre-eminently, are you practicing with DEVOTION? The heart quality of devotion is the key. I might suggest first opening your heart to God and Guru; see them there, in the heart center, as you practice your meditation and as you go about your daily activities. Literally, envisioning the Guru or another emanation of God. Chant or do japa and feel His presence within and around you to get out of your reactive thinking and emotions. Pray to Guru to remove the hardness from your heart. See God in even those who may have harmed you. In other words forgive them. “For Give” them: reflect on them as children of God, in spite of all they have done and be a channel for Divine Love, no matter the reason or circumstances. By becoming bitter you have closed down the flow of energy, which, not ironically, is meant to go inward and upward through the spine to your spiritual eye! This is one of the simple but important aspects of pranayama, or energy control, vital to the life force, especially for yogic practice and understanding. Inward and Upward; if whatever you are contemplating/feeling doesn’t do this, then abandon ship and “love God!” The essential ingredient of devotion will literally open you to those qualities and aspects of God which you learned before receiving Kriya Initiation. (Love, Light, Calmness, Peace, Sound, Power, Joy and Wisdom) Remember that with proper attunement and devotion to Guru, with the Kriya key, “You can stand unshaken midst the crash of breaking worlds!” Master said. That’s the power of Kriya brought to us by such an Avatar as Guruji.

Krishna, in the Bhagavad Gita, says “Even a little practice of this inward religion will free one from dire fears and colossal suffering.” This is eternally true. Everything you’ve learned and perhaps temporarily forgotten, you will realize as you continue to expand and not contract your love for God in all Her manifestations, i.e.; in everyone. Then find that life can be fun, when you see it as God’s play. You will be less burdened and lightened. “Karma”, through your diligence, will be neutralized, your moods will be lessened, and joy will again be a more tangible reality throughout your life. So, “seriously” love God, Shweta, know that you are His beautiful child and everything will be added, especially Joy.

Seeing you radiant and free,

Nayaswami Premdas