Loving Someone with Ungodly Qualities

Question

All religions say that we should choose our lovers wisely. But many people can hide their faults and pretend. What if we have already fallen in love with someone with ungodly qualities and much later discovers their vices. At times it is tough to forget someone after we have already fallen in love. Emotions can’t be thrown out overnight and at times it can take a lifetime to forget someone. In that case what should we do?Pray to god to change the person?

—Rohit, India

Answer

Dear Rohit,

As you have observed in your beloved, the majority of us have yet to attain perfection and still have ungodly qualities to overcome. One of Paramhansa Yogananda’s foremost disciples, Sister Gyanamata, would counsel this prayer, “Change no circumstance of my life, change me”.

Thus, with each challenge we face, including a love relationship, our highest path is to seek transcendence of our unfulfilled desires and attachments through our love, devotion, sadhana, and service to God. Your beloved may become more spiritual or he may not in this lifetime and yes it’s helpful to pray for him to be filled with God’s love and peace.

Joy to you,