I have a question about having a child. lately I have been having strong thoughts and feelings about motherhood. my partner is definitely not feeling the same way right now. I want to be with him but wonder what if he never wants to have children and I do. I also try to see it as God's doing. if She wants me to bear a child I will otherwise there are other things upon this earth that I need to direct my attention. I am just looking for any thoughts on this matter.
—carrie, usa
Dear Carrie,
Isn’t it wonderful to live at a time when we have a choice of having children or not? Although I myself am a mother I have many friends (and a daughter) who have made the decision not to do so.
If your partner is not actively opposed to the idea, perhaps it is good to let Divine Mother decide for you. If, however, he is actively opposed, it could cause serious difficulties in your relationship if you do have a child together. And, worst of all, it could affect the child seriously.
Yogananda often used this affirmation: “I will will, I will reason, I will act. Guide Thou my will, reason, and activity to the right thing that I should do”. Each time you think of having a child, say that affirmation. In time you will gain more clarity.
As you say, there are many other things where you can direct your attention, as well as plenty of opportunities to serve children in other ways.
If you and your partner do choose to have a child, the rewards are great. Parenthood gives us an opportunity to bring a soul into the world so that it can continue its spiritual journey back to God. It also is a bond which helps the parents to bring out the best in one another through their caring for the child.
And, it is a way to expand our awareness, beginning with the family and extending love and good will to others in a gradually expanding circle. One of the most rewarding results is the friendship that is built in a loving family environment. Yogananda tells us that we meet our soul friends again and again in each lifetime and that the nurturing of those friendships is of utmost importance.
If you practice this affirmation with an attitude of asking God for guidance I think you will find your answer.
Many blessings to you,
Nayaswami Sadhana Devi
