Can I Really Be a Channel?
May 26, 2010
The program was an incredible experience. It was a blessing to receive a broader and deeper understanding of yoga in all its aspects. I was blessed to go on this inward journey with a wonderful and inspiring group of people. Even after a week of the program I couldn’t hardly believe that I had only known them such a short time. It was a month of learning together, growing together, and laughing till our cheeks hurt too much to continue (and then laughing a little more). It is a great joy to meet people from all walks of life and all ages that share this deep common interest and love of yoga.
Even though I already “knew” these teachings of yoga and meditation, the program broadened and deepen my understanding in ways I couldn’t have anticipated. It also made me grow. With one week left in the program I felt like I had given it everything I had. I felt like I was being stretched (haha) beyond what I could handle.
I started thinking, Why was I putting myself through all this? Why did I want to be yoga teacher anyway? I found myself wishing I could just find God by staying in my little cabin in the woods. I asked Trimurti (who leads the Karma Yoga program) if he had a few minutes to talk. I told him how I felt like I didn’t have what it takes to be a yoga teacher and explained what I was going through.
Trimurti helped remind me of the bigger picture. There was only a small bit of time till I completed the program, then I would be able serve people in this way. A weight began to lift off my shoulders and a veil lifted from my mind.
I began to remember the reason I had taken this program in the first place. It was to serve Master and help spread these teachings. It was to be a channel for His light in the world. Me be a channel? There had been some self-limiting part in my mind saying “Who me? Who am I to be a channel? I’m just a simple devotee. I can’t do that.”
And so I pushed the thought of me being a teacher away. But, in that talk with Trimurti, the tide was turned (bless you Trimurti). I was able to accept that I could in fact be a channel for Master in the world. I again saw this training then on the much broader scale of life-purpose. I wasn’t just trying to become a yoga teacher. I was trying to become a better channel for the Light. Now that was a cause I could get behind with my whole body, mind, heart and soul.