Don’t Kiss and Tell!
January 21, 2010
One of the hardest things for me, at the start of my spiritual journey, was what to make of the phenomena I began to experience. I know this is a problem for many, in the beginning, and this is why I write about it.
When I began to awaken to the realization that there was more to my existence than the limitation of body and mind I began meditating, in my own fashion. I did not know, then, the techniques that Raja yoga has since given me. Even so, I began to experience visions, spinal manipulations, dreams, past lives, premonitions, all of which, to me, qualified explanation. Naturally, in my ignorance, I discussed them with friends.
When I discovered Ananda and Raja yoga, I would write to a certain minister with my meditational experiences. I was genuinely puzzled by what was happening to me. This minister was extremely patient with me until suddenly I did not receive replies to my emails any more. At first I was disappointed that, as I perceived, my only support was gone. Friends were unable to offer anything but fascination in what was occurring with me. However I have since deepened my own understanding and discovered the method and the blessing in the minister’s apparent madness. He was teaching me a great and valuable lesson. For which I am ever thankful.
As I progress along this path, I have come to the realization how unimportant experiences of phenomena actually are. Though seemingly valid at the time, how much validation have they really in the scheme of things? Do they change anything? I also noticed that I became a focus of unwanted attention, and the wrong sort of attention at that. People were intrigued and wanted predictions for their own self-serving interest or just plain curiosity.
Everyone’s experiences are unique and right only for them, so it does not pay to compare one’s experiences over another’s, or a lack of them. The amount of experiences one has of phenomena bears little to one’s actual spiritual development. One can be extremely psychic, yet have the worldliest consciousness. It was interesting and a relief, when I refused to play the psychic role any longer and all interest in me waned. How much of it was entrapment by Satan’s cunning after all?
I later discovered, after reading extensively the lives of great yogis and saints that many of my experiences are actually quite common with the upliftment of Kundalini. Kundalini is our latent spiritual energy, safely housed at the base of the spine. One should never release this energy by forcible yogic practices. It must be gently release it over time, by comprehensive Raja yoga. The raising of this energy is necessary for our ultimate ascension.
The test of spiritual progress, rather, must be measured in the level of divine communion one has in meditation; through the bliss and the love Guru graces us with and our ability to transpose it to our daily lives and the lives of others; to live in a sea of calm amidst ‘the crash of breaking worlds’; to bear the torch of the Infinite and shine its light on to others, living in the service of God, truly renouncing all self-serving interests.
Now I can see why this minister overtly dismissed my ramblings. I was attached to my experiences. Paramhansa Yogananda says that phenomena can actually hinder spiritual development, as I discovered. They were diverting my attention from the true direction I should be aiming, through the spiritual eye at the centre of the brow, to God. I learned my lesson.
Now? Yes I still experience certain things, though far less than at first. It is common to experience much at first, only to be tested with apparent inertia for any length of time, to see if ones interest in God still continues when no ‘carrot’ is dangled to tempt us. I take all experiences in my stride, asking myself, is this experience life changing? Usually not, therefore dismissing most, however I keep those precious ones that do touch me close to my heart, not to sully them with outward verbal expression, which cannot possibly capture a superconscious experience anyway.
Occasionally, I am guided to share some of my superconscious experiences, which led to the writing of Touching Soul, which will be published shortly by Crystal Clarity. My writing of poetry, often given in meditation, is one light that I feel Divine Mother does not want me to hide under a bushel.
Secrets in the Silence
Thy whispers held to my heart dear
As I rejoice Thou art so near.
Full of joy, to world would shout
Of precious moments none could doubt.
But my heart’s Counsel, O so wise,
To honour Thee in every guise.
My one True Friend Who loves me well
Does not commune for me to tell.
My closest moments in Thy Heart’s love
Are sacred, for the highest good.
Softly, private secrets shared
That must be held and rarely spared.
Cherished, this love ‘twixt Mother and child,
So precious are Thy secret smiles.
In silence, bears the witness true,
The loving grace Thy Heart communes.
Joy to you