Never Say: “I Need a Break”
Sometimes I wonder these things: a) Why would anybody want to write a blog about what is going on in their lives lately? and more importantly, b) Why would anybody want to (or have time to) actually read it?
Our Ananda webmasters have convinced me that people do want to read what we have to say, so I’ll take their word for it. It is my main hope that whatever I have to say might be of use to you spiritually in some way.
So here’s my news: On June 22, 2011 my husband of 31 years broke his leg (tibia, or shin-bone, in 3 places). It was/is a very bad break, and I have spent from then till now–a little over 2 months–learning how to be a good “CARE-GIVER.” And this learning opportunity is due to continue for several months to come.
Sudarshan was riding his little motor scooter (he’s been riding the same scooter safely and responsibly for 15 years or so) from our home to The Expanding Light to meet me and an old friend from out of town for lunch. He somehow “missed” seeing one of our speed bumps, lost control of the scooter, and BOOM–our lives were changed in an instant. Karma strikes in a big way this time!
Here are a few of the major blessings surrounding the event: 1) There were 6-8 witnesses, several of which were either nurses or trained EMT folk. All of them immediately went into action, calling 911, keeping him shaded (it was a hot day), helping him breathe through the shock, locating me to come to the scene, and so on. 2) We were told often that it could have been so much worse: whiplash, broken, back neck, death, etc. He separated from his scooter immediately, so that was a blessing. He was wearing his helmet which has a big dent in it now, so that was a blessing too! and 3) We were told he’d need surgery, but at the last minute, we were told a large cast for 6 weeks would do the job just as well. Amazing!
After six or so hours in the local hospital emergency room, we came home. There were eight strong Ananda people at our house to help us get him inside and in bed. Immediately the whole Ananda Community had kicked into gear, offering us help on every level. Everyone was praying and bringing us food and all sorts of other kinds of help. How do people get through something like this without the caliber of devotee friends and neighbors that we have? This, I don’t know and can’t even imagine! I just know that we are very grateful.
What have I learned spiritually and otherwise?
- Never say: “I need a break.” God may take you literally!
- People keep saying to me: “I’m really praying for Sudarshan, but I’m praying for you also, as his primary care-giver.” I knew he really needed the healing prayer energy, but had no idea about how right they were about how much I needed healing energy, too! THANKS FOR ALL PRAYERS, DEAR FRIENDS!
- You can be married to somebody for 31 years and think you know them very well. Then something like this happens and you get to see that there are NEW THINGS about your spouse and about your marriage that you didn’t know! Amazing!
- What things? He could probably write volumes on the subject, too. For me, I’ll keep it as short as possible. He’s a big, strong, intelligent, independent, self-sufficient to the max man. Now he’s dependent on others (and primarily on me) for everything in the material world. He’s a meditating yogi and tries very hard to remain even-minded and cheerful all the time. But when pain and injury strike hard like this, yogic attitudes can be put to a great test.
- Did he pass all the tests of remaining even-minded and cheerful at all times? I think he would probably say “not completely.” Did I? No, I didn’t. I had a couple of major emotional melt-downs. I surprised myself very much with my less than good behavior.
- This too shall pass. He’s better now, but not well; he’s still on crutches and in pain–though much less so. He is going to Physical Therapy Sessions in town two times a week, and also doing strengthening exercises at home. It is helping, but it also stirs up the pain, over and over. Necessary torture.
- You have to keep meditating, even when you think you REALLY don’t have time. I’m holding down 2 part time jobs (which means both are full time). He can’t work for many months to come (thus, no salary for him), so I’m the main income-provider. Caring for him has been close to a full-time job, too. But the meditation CANNOT stop! No question about that. Otherwise, coping would be twice as hard.
- Watching him struggle to meditate daily when he can’t even sit up straight–this has been very inspiring to me.
- In our marriage, we have had jobs which keep us moving in separate orbits for most of the hours of each day. Now we are like peas in the same pod for a large part of each day. Our roles are different, too. Small or large irritations happen constantly for both of us. Are we doing OK? With God and Guru’s help and a TON of help from our friends, I’m happy to say that we are. So far, so good!
So that’s my most recent story and I’m sticking to it. How has your summer been? (smile)