Pastures New: A Lesson in Acceptance
Time marches on and the move to India is almost upon us. Our home is sold and we have left our jobs. Yet had Michael and I known how difficult it would be to opt out of the ‘rat-race’ we might have planned things slightly differently. Not that it has affected our decision to move to Pune, rather it has made us more determined. We do not know just how bound we are into the ‘red tape’ of modern society… until we try to untie the knots!
For me, I have been forced to let go. I am one for planning, organizing, and having everything in place as best as I can. I am a ‘get things done’ sooner rather than later person. In my efficiency I do my best to follow Intuition, but sometimes I go too fast and Divine Mother needs to blatantly reign me in.
In moving to the Kriya Yogashram in Pune, Michael and I merely want to simplify our lives; to live the rest of our time allotted dedicated to God and the realization of our higher Selves amongst like-minded souls, to serve others in the process, and in a pioneering community that needs as much help as it can get. But what we found is rather than simplifying our lives, selling our home in the UK was actually causing more complications in our lives.
India will not allow permanent residency, even though Michael and I are British citizens and India is part of the British Commonwealth (if anyone knows or can find out information contrary to this, then please do let me know). To have official residency status in neither UK, nor India resulted in many problems. You name it, we have had it thrown at us! A great time of testing.
Consequently, we have been cornered into a situation that we did not envisage; to buy a new residence in mainland Britain. In a previous blog I said that all energy for this venture must be projected in one direction, and that direction must flow to India. To leave roots in UK was somehow to betray our ideal. But Divine Mother has always run this show. I have given it all to her, knowing She anticipates and meets our needs far better than I. All paths till now have been open, but suddenly, with the complications that arose, they appeared to be closing.
For us the last straw was a hiccough with India’s High Commission. London does not grant a visa the same day, as happens in other countries. It makes its poor applicants sweat for up to 10 days before reaching a decision! Implications meant there was a possibility that we would have to leave the country every six months. We had had just about all we could stomach from being at the mercy of the ‘authorities’ (when really I should have remembered we are only at the mercy of Divine Mother!). This has been a tough lesson in accepting what is.
Hold-ups enforce time to take stock and reflect. Michael and I decided enough was enough. It is one thing to be accepting, but another is to be a doormat! If a situation is disagreeable, one can only embrace it, walk away from it, or change it. In one day we turned our plans around on a sixpence. An apartment seemed to ‘jump out’ at me on the internet. I was not looking in its locality at all, so how I ever found it can only have been engineered by Guru. In the perfect location and at a reasonable price, we are proceeding in its purchase.
Yet angst was caused by thinking we were taking a backward step. Instead of renouncing the so called ‘security’ of the West we are seemingly continuing to embrace it. I long for seclusion, to be permitted just to be a tyagini in a solitary cell away from the world and its unnecessary complications. But this is not God’s way. It would get me nowhere other than affording only a temporary peace. I need to be in the world to complete my mission for this life, to forget myself…to allow God to play His unique role through me to reach others.
I was also concerned that rather than acting from intuition, I was acting on impulse. Was I not trusting we would be granted a full visa, yet was I ignoring the warning signals? I meditated on it and decided that my actions were intuitive, rather than impulsive.
On reflection I can see that in pursuing the one way direction to India, I had been so focused that I was using tunnel vision (I wish I could harness such focus in my meditations!). I was not interpreting the signals around me that were indicating a diversion. Life became a struggle, a battle ground. Now I have been halted, I can clearly see that having a residence in Britain will free us from many of our problems. I can change my sounding board, reaffirming that Divine Mother provides always.
Now it matters not the type of visa we are granted, or how long we are permitted to stay in India. Family is happy, bureaucrats off our backs, and we can relax. By accepting that our plan is not manifesting quite as we had anticipated, by not resisting an enforced change, we are moving with and in God’s grace. Inner peace prevails once more, which will allow us to enjoy the freedom of pastures new.
Financially, having another residence is a huge drain we did not foresee, but I trust absolutely that we will be looked after in this regard also.
Our plans went slightly awry. In order to continue forward we were compelled to turn right. Now we journey forth once more. Jai Guru!
Joy to you