My father in law repeatedly talks about similar topics.Since I cannot tell him to change the topic I am listening to the same conversations since past 8 years.Am tired and agitated with this.These days I am getting furious for hours and it is affecting my relation with my spouse.He understands and gives me time but I end up feeling guilty for getting agitated.I don't mean to disrespect his parents so till today I am listening like it's the first time but deep inside I am in rage.
Please guide me
—Rekha, India
Dear Rekha,
You have my sympathy. I know it can be difficult to hear the same stories over and over again. Yet you need to look at the intensity of your response.
First of all, you must become very clear about the fact that your father-in-law is probably aged and not aware of what he is doing. You have no guarantee that you will not do the same thing when you become old and less aware!
One can’t change a problem such as becoming agitated or angry by simply deciding not to become agitated and angry. I think you need to work on developing an inner life. I am assuming you do not have a strong meditation practice, and I highly recommend that you begin to develop one.
You need to find a place of real peace within yourself, one that can come only from meditation and a spiritual life.
When you cultivate the feeling of calmness in yourself through daily meditation, you can go to that calm place when something annoying is happening. The truth is, the more you practice finding inner peace in meditation every day, the less you will even notice these annoying situations.
How to begin: We offer instruction in meditation on our website – both written lessons through our Meditation Support site, and online lessons in meditation that I think would be even more helpful for you.
It would be even better if you could receive lessons in person by going to an Ananda community, retreat center, or meditation group. We have these all over the world, but also hopefully near you in India.
If this situation with your father-in-law motivates you to develop a meditation practice, you will find it to be one of the greatest blessings in your life!
I wish you success in this,
Anandi
