You Don’t Need to Accept Poor Behavior


I have a lovely niece who is now turning out to be rude and arrogant with me.My sister tells her negative things about me.My niece feels that we are attacking her mom and overreacts for everything.Last night I was tired of her arrogance and told her to either speak to me politely or stay quiet.I love her dearly but am unable to handle her animosity.At the same time the relationship with my Sister has strained so much that now I cant mend it. Please guide me.

Thank you


—Rekha, India


Hi Rekha,

It sounds like there is more going on than the issue of you and your niece. Is it possible that there is a larger family issue going on? In any case, you can’t change individuals; you can only change yourself.

You might ask yourself what is more important to you: your relationship with your sister and your niece, or being right? As I said, there is something else going on here.

Love is always the answer. You don’t need to accept poor behavior.

You can say, “When you talk to me that way it hurts, and I know that isn’t what you mean to do. How can we talk so that we are both heard?”