Lila Hoogendyk, 1941 - August, 2012 David Hoogendyk , 1945 - April, 2000
Lila was born Sheryl Milner in San Leandro, California on July 7th, 1941. She married her high school best friend but soon was raising alone their two boys, Jeffrey and Greg Philpott, in Oakland, CA.
Lila’s younger sister Karen told us, “Love is what defines my very special sister, Lila, who happily shared a bedroom with me while growing up, who listened and encouraged me all through the years, and who filled my life with love and laughter.”
She went to college in the Bay Area and was an English Literature Major and was preparing to be a librarian.
Raising two boys as a single mom wasn’t easy but we remember her telling us: “We are a team. I have to go out and work. So you have to help me. I can’t do this by myself.’” So she taught them the ins and outs of keeping a well running home. When later someone asked them what their mom was like, they both answered together, “The best mom ever!”
As a young adult, Lila developed an interest in community living, attending talks by people such as Stephen Gaskin. In the summer of 1971, a friend gave her a copy of Swami Kriyananda’s “Cooperative Communities, How to Start Them and Why“. This would plant the seed that would take another decade to bear fruit.
Jeffrey:
“She was always very supportive of whatever we wanted to do. If I wanted to learn drums, she got me drumsticks; I thought the trumpet looked cool so she found one and tolerated my “playing it”. Whatever it was; art classes, the need for a drawing table, my first computer in the 80’s when I took programming classes – she supported both Greg and me. All life long really. Including when I was living with my dad in the Bay Area, wondering what my next phase of life would look like. Mom was in Italy then and we had a talk about this one day on the phone. About 2 weeks later she called back and asked, “How would you like to come to Assisi?”. Yes! I stashed my belongings at my dad’s, grabbed my guitar and a few essentials and flew to Assisi.”
Lila had many opportunities to expand and learn: collecting and playing classical music, learning the piano and recorder; volunteering at the bird rescue facility in Berkeley during the late 60’s and early 70’s which turned out to be a lifelong enjoyment.
Over time, Lila developed a deep interest in Eastern spirituality. She started doing yoga, attending classes and eventually leading them. She also began attending lectures by teachers such as Swami Satchidananda. Along the way she would read The Path by Swami Kriyananda and The Autobiography of a Yogi and other works by Paramhansa Yogananda.
In the early 1980’s, Lila went to work for a catering company in San Francisco very near the Marina which was very near a gelateria that was frequented by members of the newly formed Ananda Center called “Ananda House”.
“Soon, Lila was enjoying yoga and meditation gatherings at this house on a regular basis. She had found her spiritual family! After many months, she got an offer to move to the Ananda Seclusion Retreat to head up guest services. At the very retreat she had read about in Swami Kriyananda’s book back in 1971!
But… while her younger son Gregory was living with his father, her elder son Jeffrey was still living with her. Would Jeffrey want to move to a retreat outside Nevada City? She prayed.
That summer, Jeffrey went to Lake Tahoe with his best friend Shawn’s family for two weeks. When he returned, he said, “Mom, Shawn and I have been thinking we’d like to move to Lake Tahoe.” Lila said, ‘Well I’ve been thinking that I would like to move to Nevada City!’ Prayers answered.
Lila moved to the Seclusion Retreat in the summer of 1983 and settled in– she was so happy to finally be living in spiritual community. In 1984 she began working at the World Brotherhood Retreat, (WBR), now The Expanding Light. She built a communal home with friends in a newly created cluster at Ananda village and was very involved with the music, both chanting and singing in the Ananda Choir.
In 1991 she began preparing meals for Swami Kriyananda.. Within a year she would join the staff at the Crystal Hermitage and become Swami’s primary cook, a role she would continue to serve in until just weeks before her passing on August 8th, 2012.
David Hoogendyk
Devi:
“In 1993, she married a fellow devotee, David Hoogendyke, and lived at the Hermitage for nearly 7 years. He was a remarkable, saintly man. He and Jyotish were in Swami’s first class together in San Francisco in 1967. He was a computer engineer and even though had much to give, he always served behind the scenes for Ananda. I remember him telling me once, “You know, I’ve never really talked with Swami, but he’s my best friend.” And that’s just the kind of person he was. Later on, he got interested in running, eventually becoming a triathlete,
marathon runner, swimmer, and biker.”
And then, in 1999, Swami decided to move permanently to Assisi; Lila preceded him to get everything set up hoping David would follow soon. David took an early retirement, and 6 months later, in the fall of 2000, he was able to join Lila in Assisi. But his life there wasn’t to be a long one. In the middle of a run, even though he was a seasoned athlete, he had a heart attack and died instantly. Of course, even though it was a great shock to her, she asked Swamiji if she could continue to serve him. A month later, Swamiji suggested she join the Ananda Worldwide choir which toured all over northern Italy for a week or two.
Lila was born on July 7. And interestingly, on July 7th 2009, on her birthday, she cooked her last meal for Swamiji and hung up her apron.
Lila’s life became only to serve Swamiji. Swami often said to her, “Lila, have you eaten?” And she said, “Well, I’ll eat later.” And I heard Swamiji a number of times say to her, “Why don’t you make extra so that you can eat too, and she never would because, to her, it was her service to God, to take care of him. The kitchen, to her, was an altar, and she would always have fresh flowers and a beautiful picture of Master and Swamiji in front of her while cooking.
“It’s been such an honor to know this great soul; to learn from her traits of a true devotee. – dignity and kindness; devotion and focus on every task before her. One time when we were all in India together we were shopping at a kitchen store to purchase items Swamiji needed for his new kitchen. Some of us were commenting on things we saw: “Oh, look at this and look at this.” But Lila was completely focused on what Swamiji was looking at. He always was the focus of her thoughts – how she could serve him in the best possible ways. Her life was about service. It was serving the God in Swami, serving the God in everyone. And one thing that concerned her when she could no longer cook for him was – what Swamiji was going to eat! One day she heard that two interim cooks were going to serve Swami broccoli. When she found out about it she was horrified for Swami wasn’t fond of broccoli. She made them promise to ask her first from then on.
I read a letter from Swamiji to her one morning and that afternoon, she looked right in my eyes. And she said to me, does everyone know I love them? I said, Yes Lila. I think they do. And then she just lay back down again. It was remarkable how she cared so much about each person. One day, she fell in the bathroom. I was closeby and ran to her worried she had hurt herself. She was hanging by her pajamas on the doorknob! Just hanging there. I pulled her off and, lying on the floor, she was saying “Are you okay, Durga? Are you okay?”