In the first few years after Swami Kriyananda started Ananda, a number of swamis from India visited us. Most of them were not well known and were traveling alone without any entourage, but they brought with them the authentic spirituality of India. Perhaps it was Yoganandaji’s way of helping to imbue our lives, and Ananda’s work for the future, with deep spiritual vibrations.
One of these swamis said something in answer to a question I put to him that made a lasting impact on my life. I asked, “How do you develop the kind of dedication that enables you to stay on the spiritual path for your whole life?”
His answer puzzled me at the time, and over the years I’ve tried to understand its deeper meaning. He replied simply, “Don’t compare yourself to others.” That was it.
We’d never met before, so his response couldn’t have been based on seeing something in my behavior. But high souls have a deep sense of intuition that enables them to pierce to the heart of things. Over time I could see how his reply had hit home.
I saw how most of my training in life was to find my value by comparing my performance to that of others. “Am I better than my classmates?” “How much better?” “Am I the best?” were questions that ran through my mind. I wanted to do well in school and work, but my only gauge to judge my value was to compare my performance with others. This kind of thinking may get you to the top of your class or job, but it has its limitations in our spiritual growth.
Recently I read an article by a psychologist about something called “Goal Orientation Theory.” According to this, there are two kinds of goals: 1)“performance-oriented goals,” also called “ego-goals” (I’m not making this up), and 2) “mastery-oriented goals,” also called “learning goals.”
With “performance-oriented goals,” we try to show others how well we’re doing and are concerned about how they judge us. With “mastery-oriented goals,” we seek challenges and try to overcome difficulties, and our primary concern is self-improvement.
This psychological distinction reflects the same thing that the swami told me years ago. By comparing ourself with others, we’re stuck in a world of smoke and mirrors in which all we see are distorted reflections of who we really are. By seeking inner challenges and personal growth, we move towards self-mastery, wherein lies our actual value. And in the ultimate realization of our oneness with God we find truly the only thing in life worth achieving.
In his book Visits to Saints of India, Swami Kriyananda wrote about a saint he’d visited in 1960 named Yogi Ramiah, or Sri Rama Yogi. Yoganandaji had previously visited him during his return trip to India in 1936, and said that he was a fully liberated master.
Swamiji wrote, “I found Sri Rama Yogi by nature extremely withdrawn, hiding his spiritual glory from a wish to avoid curiosity seeking.” He lived in a small village in southern India, with only a few aged disciples around him. Sensing his high state of consciousness, Swamiji asked him why he didn’t have a more public work through which he could help many people.
Sri Rama Yogi answered simply, “God has done what He wants to do with this body.” He was able to cast aside the lower expression of self-will for the higher value of doing only God’s will.
So what is our true value? It’s not what others think of us, or even what we can accomplish in this world. It lies in the truth that God is the only reality behind everything that we do and are.
Yoganandaji put it beautifully with these words: “Beloved Lord, teach me to feel that Thou art the sole activating power, and that in recognition of Thee as the Doer lies the value of all my life’s experiences.”
And remember, in God’s eyes we are all “the best.”
Your friend in God,
Nayaswami Devi
Listen to Devi as she reads the blog, then expands on it, often adding special behind-the-inspiration stories and answers to common spiritual questions. Subscribe to the podcast or download the audio recording by right-clicking here. Or listen to it here (9:42):
31 Comments
Spirituality is the natural tendency of our mind and consciousness. When we compare with others in terms of materialistic attainments, mental piece and stable state of our soul get disturbed.
Aum Guru
Yesterday I was just thinking about that to be goals are more important than to have goals. I was thought that having goals was the main purpose in life such as having a nice house, car, well paid job or successful business, but all of that comes when we become better persons being humble in our thoughts and actions, being kind with others, being more intelligent making decisions, being more patient are what we must investing our time. God want us to be before we get, thank you for the article 🙏😁
Thanik you for sharing this blissful truth. 🙏
❤️🙏😇
Very, very helpful. Thank you Devi, I will share this with many!!!
I look forward to reading your pure words of wisdom every week! These words are especially beautiful because they focus on the essence of our maya. OUR ESSENCE WALKS IN HIS FOOTSTEPS. LOVE TO ALL.
SINCERELY
A very lucid blog by Deviji, thank you! Draws an excellent distinction between succeeding and winning. Whereas winning is about the compulsion to be better than someone else (and is, therefore, limiting in its objective) , succeeding is about the journey towards self mastery (the best that I can be; this attitude creates expansiveness and positivity).
Thankyou, from my heart. 🙏🙏
Dear Nayaswami Devi
Sri Rama Yogi answered simply, “God has done what He wants to do with this body.” Is it possible whilst the body was still, Sri Rama Yogi was indeed helping others through his enteral presence and prayers?
Your thoughts about comparison were timely Nayaswami Devi, Thankyou. Just now as I opened the email (and for the past few days actually), I had been comparing myself to others.
With love
Trace xx
*Ethereal presence*
Beautiful & just what I needed to hear. Thank you.
So lovely, practical and perfect for where I am at this point in my life. Moving out of Lynnwood Ananda Community after just moving in this past September. I had a spiritual calling to move in and now I have a spiritual calling to move out. The in between has been extremely difficult. When I realized I couldn’t ‘tweak’ God’s direction for me it has become a process (arduous yes! to move again) and not a failure on anyone’s part. I am not a better or less than any other long time Kriyaban for having this short experience in the community. Staying centered and being God directed I am clear about my next steps toward my better home while staying connected to my Ananda yoga and meditation practice.
Thank you, Devi. A wonderful challenge to the ego that creeps in with subtle camouflage in the best of times.
Weeks spent with you all at Ananda are still present. Great Thanks and blessings without end.
I always thought that talking about success when in comparison with others was useless, but I kept it in my mind. I noticed all of us, naturally have diferente inspirational? spiritual? reason to do what we do. It could be the same action with different reason giving different “successful ” results to the average audience, but it isn’t true.
Reading your letter is very refreshing and inspiring to be and let be. To be the best and avoid any conflict with measuring me against others or vise verse.
Thank you
Blessings, many many
Comparisons, like judgement, seem to have strong identification to personality; more, or less in some, than in others. Thank you for this contribution.
I so needed to read this. Struck me right in my heart. Thank you Devi ❤️
As I continue to work on my goals for the year, this was a good reminder of where I want to focus.. on within.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for talking about this topic. We all were brought up and trained to compete so we could succeed in this material world. It is such a relief from all the programming to hear that we are all “the best.” My whole being relaxes into myself knowing that my inner life is where its at! It saves me a lot of energy that I can funnel into meditation, service and sharing God and Gurus unconditional love. love, love, love
Wonderful, timely blob post Devi!
Indeed, our outer achievements are what the ego points to as success. Our inner advancement and deeper contact with the Divine is something no one else can see or stand back and proclaim, WAY TO GO! There’s no bragging about how far we’ve grown inwardly. That only shows in our increasing serenity, peacefulness and love for others. Therein lay the desire to serve others, to please God, and no other.
Namaste!
What a wonderful reading. Every time I read something coming from you tears of joy fill my eyes. In God’s eyes we are all “the best”. What more one can ask for? He is the doer and we are just a puppet on the string and play our role the best we can without comparing ourselves with others.
Thank you for filling our lives with the spiritual values.
Thank you once again Devi for helping me to just let it all go.
What a beautiful story, Master and Swamiji are alive and well through your writing!
I feel more at ease with this troublesome world through the grace I absorb when I sit in silence.
Dear Nayaswami Devi Ji,
Thank you for this wonderful blog! ‘Performance Oriented Goals vs Mastery Oriented Goals’ were profound and reading this helps to take stock of where I am and align towards Self Mastery!
Thanks for Sharing
Joy,
Prem
Many thanks for another very inspirational message…its a great start for the new Year.
Gratefully yours.
Learnt a lot. Thanks and Regards,
As so often is the case, a very timely piece of guidance that I appreciate and strive to act upon. Thank you.
Maha! Thank you 🙏 for sharing the beautiful question and reply from the Swami! I’m working on that myself. This is just the inspiration I need. Making myself the most effective, successful being I can be.
🙏Aums!🙏 to you!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful insights with us.
Thank you Devi. This is beautiful. I’m finally reading it! But, interestingly enough, this has been a realization in the back of my mind recently. Thank you for tuning in to us all. There is such freedom that comes from simply doing one’s best for God and Guru in a loving way and conscious of our unity with all. love, maria
Beautiful insight….Thank you…
What a beautiful and very deep article. I will write down that affirmation and use it. I’m reminded of a reporter who asked Mother Teresa the reason she wasn’t more successful in building her work. She replied, “I wasn’t called to be successful. I was called to be faithful.”