{"id":18199,"date":"2010-06-06T09:39:04","date_gmt":"2010-06-06T16:39:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ananda.org\/askk\/attraction-in-relationships\/"},"modified":"2010-06-06T09:39:04","modified_gmt":"2010-06-06T16:39:04","slug":"attraction-in-relationships","status":"publish","type":"ask","link":"https:\/\/www.ananda.org\/ask\/attraction-in-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Attraction in relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\tDear Carrie,<\/p>\n
\n\tYour letter refers only to your “parner,” so i don’t know what kind of commitment you have made to each other, or for how long, but i hope the following is helpful.<\/p>\n
\n\tFirst i want to say, perhaps to reassure your partner, that when your letter arrived, I read it to two men friends, who are also nayaswami and Ananda ministers. They responded to your situation in the same way i did.<\/p>\n
\n\tYogananda said that married couples should not dance with people other than their own spouse. Why? Because there is a very strong magnetism between men and women, and this should be acknowledged and worked with sensibly.<\/p>\n
\n\tYou are trying to be “open-minded” and spiritual, but the reallity of the power of attraction between men and women needs to be considered. If your partner feels a strong attraction to another woman and continues to see her regularly “only as a friend,” he is, quite simply, playing with fire.<\/p>\n
\n\tTo be truly spiritual means to align ourselves with Truth on all levels, not wishful thinking.<\/p>\n
\n\tPeople who are happily married often have friends of the opposite sex, but if they want to stay married, they don’t continue friendships with those to whom they feel a strong attraction. Nor would one want to put oneself in a situation with someone of the opposite sex where that kind of attraction could grow. This is just common sense, and it’s essential to be honest with oneself.<\/p>\n
\n\tThough it will not be easy, I’m afraid your partner needs to make a decision. If he wants to be committed to you, he’s not going to be able to have another woman “friend” to whom he feels such a strong attraction.<\/p>\n