It’s strange that something I have puzzled over for fifty years should suddenly come clear to me now, simply because it was someone else who asked me the question. It has happened to me often, however: I’ve pondered something for years, but only when the same question was put to me by someone else did I suddenly know the solution.

In this case, it was something my Guru said to me at least twice, and perhaps three times: “After I am gone, the monks must live in separate colonies from the women renunciates.” Later I discovered he had not said this to the women, who were in fact running things. Why, I asked myself, would he say something so important to the future of his work only to me? Granted, I was in charge of the monks, but my responsibility at the time spread no further than that. In later years, my concern for finding a separate piece of property on Mount Washington was even turned against me by Mrinalini Mata who wrote the other directors in support of my ouster from SRF, “I always felt that Kriyananda’s desire to find a separate property was because he wanted to get the monks out from under Daya Mata’s control.”

Why did Master tell me, but not Daya Mata? My puzzlement regarding Master’s words was increased by