“If a problem can be solved there is no use worrying about it. If it can’t be solved, worrying will do no good.” When I heard this Tibetan saying, it got me thinking about how much time I have spent in my life worrying about many things.
In school I worried about finishing homework on time and “fitting in”. After doing well in school and making many friends I worried about where I would live, how I would work, and if I would receive a green card to live in the United States. After finding my dream career of being a yoga teacher, moving into an ideal house in spiritual community, marrying a beautiful soul friend and receiving my green card, I began to worry how I would pay the rent!
I wondered…was there any use in worrying if all of my problems had solutions?
How is it that after all these blessings, I feel the need to worry about how we’ll meet the monthly bills?! Every day, month, and year I have been more than taken care of. My life is overflowing with Divine Mother’s grace. I know it is She who has always been watching over me, feeding me, and clothing me every day of my life.
My husband and I now have a wonderful three month old son, and since his birth I’ve had some time off from teaching yoga to bond deeply with this special soul. The connection we have made is unlike any other relationship I’ve had. I know now why mothers will do anything for their children. It is an honor to serve them.
Recently I was asked to teach again. It would be my first class since being a mother. All I could think about was everything that could go wrong if I were to leave my baby for two hours. My husband was absolutely confident that all would go well, but I continued to have lingering doubts. Questions kept forming in my mind that began with the words, “What if…?”
Finally listening to my husband’s advice, I decided that there was going to be a solution to the separation anxiety I was experiencing. Even though I couldn’t see the solution yet, it was my choice to believe there was one. The day of the class was approaching.
In my meditations I prayed deeply for guidance and reassurance that all would go well — that our little baby boy would be happy and safe. As I prayed, it struck me that I was praying to the Giver behind all gifts, the One who had watched over me every moment of my life, and who was now watching over my son’s life. I wasn’t the one taking care of him! He wasn’t even my son! How foolish of me to think I was the only one who could take care of all his needs. It was Divine Mother who brought him into my life in the first place. He belongs to Her!
God uses many channels to love his children, and in my present situation I realized that He was going to flow through my husband who would be watching our baby.
I decided to complete my meditations every day with a powerful affirmation by our Guru Paramhansa Yogananda. It is often given to guests at The Expanding Light who are interested in making changes in their way of thinking and acting. “I will go forth in perfect faith, in the power of Omnipresent Good, knowing that I will receive what I need at the time that I need it.”
I paid close attention to each word from this affirmation and realized that my solution was right there in the first sentence. “I will go forth in perfect FAITH.” All I had to do was trust.
When I taught my first yoga class as a mother, it was with confidence and joy. When I arrived home, I found two happy boys lying in the grass smiling and laughing. I am deeply grateful to Divine Mother for Her endless gifts which are all designed to lead us to our eternal freedom.