This letter responds to a person seeking the “perfect” mate.

Dear ——:

It is a mistake to think that you will ever find the perfect mate. Life, outwardly, cannot be other than a compromise between the ideal and reality. This is true in every walk of life, even in the ashrams of saints, for the world is limited, relative, and otherwise conditioned in countless ways.

Seek perfection, therefore, within yourself. The more you depend on outer circumstances to give you perfection, the more you will find disappointment. Remember, too, that your path to perfection depends not only on inner growth, but on the application of that inner growth to outer circumstances.

In other words, a relationship that seems lacking in personal fulfillment may be a great spiritual blessing for the opportunity it gives one to be a channel for divine love and service to help the other person. “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Service and sacrifice, not outward fulfillment, are the essence of spiritual development.

In divine friendship,

Swami Kriyananda

Excerpted from, In Divine Friendship, Letters of Counsel and Reflection. Clarity Magazine articles can be printed in "text only" format, using your own computer.


  1. I would appreciate more information on this, as I find it hard to believe that there is someone out there for me.

    Thank you,

  2. blank

    Dear Friend,

    Thank you for your comment. To learn more go to the Ananda Clarity Magazine website search function and put in the word “marriage.”

    Joy to you,

  3. Thanks you very much Swamiji for this beautiful reply.
    Joy to you,

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