A few days ago I got into the car at 5:30am to begin my day of activities. There was a meditation, a meeting, then school and then work at the temple waiting for me. It was dark and cold and my family was still sleeping in the house. The car wouldn’t start.
I woke my saintly husband and we problem solved together. I thought the gas had been siphoned off so I walked to the gas station and then we tried again after putting a couple gallons in. It still wouldn’t start. My husband offered me his car and he called the mechanic.
We learned we had a broken fuel pump. The fuel pump is essential for getting the fuel into the engine where it does its job of making things go. I could pump in fuel all day, but if the fuel pump doesn’t work, nothing moves. It didn’t seem like a lesson in energy at the time, it seemed like a lesson in how to let go of $600.
This morning, I received a very sweet, friendly email reminding me that my scheduled posting for this site was overdue. I, of course, already knew this because I have been hitting “snooze” every time the little reminder window would pop up on my computer screen.
I had plans to sit at my computer and write this morning – and then all day, but not for this blog. I have a curriculum writing project I’ve been part of for over a year and that deadline is months overdue.
Living Wisdom School, where I teach part-time is on spring break, but there are hours of planning, classroom clean-up and preparation to do before the kids return. I will spend half of the break helping my mother in her recovery from surgery so I won’t be in town.
I’m still working at the Portland Temple and Teaching Center (which doesn’t take spring break) and we have two significant events this week, besides the regularly scheduled classes and daily opportunities to serve. There will be a Nayaswami Renunciate Order initiation for the first time in Portland. I will be taking a Pilgrim vow and as part of the staff I am involved in the preparations and planning for the event.
We will also be hosting Nayaswami Jyotish and Nayaswami Devi, Spiritual Directors of Ananda worldwide, for the annual appeal to support the outreach work of Ananda.
The home scene involves ferrying kids to friends and classes today too, along with the daily piles of laundry, dishes, and spring chores.
All this is to say – each day is full to overflowing with opportunities to learn that God is the Doer. I can get anxious, tense and on the verge of panic if I think about every THING that must be done and the inadequate time I have to do it. There simply is no way to succeed.
As I practiced Yogananda’s energization exercises this morning, the words of the prayer seemed to vibrate with meaning: O Infinite Spirit, recharge this body with Thy conscious, cosmic energy. Recharge this mind with Thy concentration and determination. Recharge this soul, and all souls, with Thy ever-new joy. O Eternal Youth of body and mind, abide within me forever and ever. Amen.
There is infinite cosmic energy flowing all the time – all I need to do is to open up to the flow. I had a sudden flash back to the early morning car episode. My consciousness is the fuel pump!
My daughter is here practicing piano while I write and her fingers are flying over the keys. I can almost see the energy flowing into her and producing the beautiful music. If her fuel pump wasn’t working there would be no beautiful music filling the house. It’s her willingness and openness to the divine energy that makes it happen. I can let beautiful things happen through me too, if I open the fuel pump of my consciousness and allow the energy to move where it can do the job.
Whenever I experience a deepening understanding of universal truths, there follows an overwhelming gratitude to my guru, Yogananda, and his devoted disciple, Nayaswami Kriyananda, for the teachings that make the understanding possible. Without access to what is offered through Ananda, I would still be struggling in the dark wondering why things don’t work the way I want them to. How to say thank-you for such a gift? Allow God to be the Doer.
In friendship, joy, and gratitude,