Recently I have been made conscious of a habitual way of thinking. Before, when confronted with something that was impossible to do, I would let everyone know why it couldn’t be accomplished, justifying my decision not to raise my energy. And I have a lot of energy. Up until a month ago, I counted this as a skill and an asset. But then New Zealand happened. Spending time with a group of long-time devotees, at the heart of which was Asha Praver, a close friend and student of Swami Kriyananda’s, who channels him at every opportunity, opened me up to another portal of energy potential.
Many lucky souls had the opportunity to tour with Swami on the “Joy Tours” back in the 70’s. Not only was it a growthful experience for the people who came, but also for the people who traveled with Kriyananda. They learned first hand what it is like to be with such a powerhouse of energy, always living the teachings, never for a moment relaxing into subconscious or resting on habits that didn’t serve. Living the teachings at the safety of a spiritual community is one thing. Living them out in the world is another, especially when representing Master and Swami. Then, you have to be an example. It’s a whole new kind of integration.
So now it was my turn. There we all were, about to load up the MarshMELLOW (the white minibus we traveled around New Zealand with) for a two-week tour. In it needed to fit all our (very large) suitcases, many boxes of books, tables, vases, flowers, harmoniums, guitars, video equipment, altar dressings, fire ceremony supplies, food… you get the picture. When I saw all that needed to be loaded onto the van, I thought, “There’s no way is this all going to fit. As if on cue, yet another item was added to our pack list: massive bunches of lilies that had been pulled out of the garden that morning, a delivery for an online bidder. Each bunch weighed about 20lbs and with huge roots filled with dirt. I thought to myself, “There is no way this was going to happen.”
So I marched into the house, listing the reasons it was impossible and on some level believing I was serving everyone. “You don’t understand—”, I started, but Asha had caught my thought. She pulled me aside, “No, Rachel, you don’t understand. This is going to happen. It always fits! It’s full when you put the people in the car with the suitcases on top of them. That’s when it’s full.”
Whoa. This was huge shift in the way I think about things. It always fits? It does??? How interesting that I would always assume that it was my job to let everyone know why it couldn’t be done. Who knew that all that was required was thinking in an opposite direction? Assume that it WILL and work backwards from there. Use my energy for that!
At that point I realized the groove in my brain played “this is not going to happen and here is why” instead of “this IS going to happen and here’s how.”
And of course Asha was right; it always fits.
Thankfully this happened in the beginning of the trip, as it set the tone for the rest of our time there. Whatever expectations I had had created an appropriate relationship to each situation that came up and the desire to raise my energy so I can meet God’s unlimited flow and be a clearer channel of light to whomever I meet along the way.
All of this to say I loved my experience in New Zealand and feel a tremendous amount of gratitude for Swami, Asha, my travel companions and all my new Kiwi friends. I never considered how powerful it could be to watch a person feel the click of truth; their whole being transforms right before your eyes. An answered prayer and you were right there, experiencing it with them. My life is forever transformed.
Here is a video about the whole trip. Sorry, the lilies didn’t make it in the video.