Paramhansa Yogananda said many times that when we are in the vibration of AUM (creative vibration of God as Divine Mother, the Holy Ghost) no harm can befall us. Master told us of his close disciple, Dr Lewis, who was in trouble in a boat that was caught in a sudden storm. He was in great danger of losing his life but he stayed in his centre, permeated by the sacred vibration throughout his ordeal. Master said the power of AUM saved him.
It has been troubling me, therefore, as to why Guru ‘blew my cover’ the other night, by letting a bleary-eyed Michael discover me at my secret nightly mediation. To me, it seemed easier to meditate after Michael had fallen asleep, than to have to argue the case for extending meditation practice, of which he thinks I do enough already.
I had asked for protection from discovery, which has been afforded me for over two years now, because I knew – and was right, as events proved – that it would lead to a tirade of well – meaning, but worldly concern. “What are you doing out of bed at this hour? You’ll make yourself ill if you don’t get at least 8 hours sleep. It’s not the first time you have done this is it..?” And so it went on. Guru has never let me down yet, so I was puzzled, as I was in the beatific state of AUM, at my discovery. How could Guru have let my secret be discovered, and why?
But then, in a later meditation, I reflected and was given the answers I looked for. In the very meditation I was discovered, I remembered I had asked Guru to give Michael greater understanding – of this path, I suppose I meant, but I was not specific. When he discovered my secret, I was – in hindsight – totally untouched by his well-meaning retribution. AUM was resonating loudly in my head and throughout my auric field, which I know encroached into Michael’s because I felt it was filling the whole room, and also by his reactions next.
Serenely I explained myself away, speaking from my heart centre, as he climbed back into bed, huffing and puffing at me in half-hearted indignation – nothing like the tirade ‘for my own good’ I would have expected from him usually. AUM still ever expanding.
The strange thing is that when I asked Michael why he woke up and came looking for me when usually I move into the spare bed after he starts his nightly cacophony of snoring, was that he said he was woken by ‘a voice’ that told him to look for me! He also said he could feel I was there. Was he feeling AUM as It expanded my auric field?
In the morning, Michael looked at me reproachfully, but lovingly, and shook his head saying, “What am I going to do with you? I don’t suppose for one minute you are going to stop meditating at night?” I just grinned at him. That was my answer!
The lesson revealed that I should have had the courage of my convictions from the start. Actually, I didn’t budge one inch from my standpoint of meditation being both essential and by far the most rewarding, practised by night. Divine Mother, AUM, did not fail to protect me, as Michael now has greater understanding!
I no longer need be secretive about my sadhana, manipulated as I was by Guru into facing my fear of discovery head on. Guru will not allow anything that is not transparent. Secrets must be exposed. I, too, now have greater understanding. Jai Guru! AUM, Amen.
This constant sound about my head
Resounds in joy, of silent tread.
To me, so real, a part of Nature,
But no one else hears my Creator.
AUM, AUM…the bells are ringing,
AUM, AUM…my heart is singing.
All you deaf, heart-weary souls,
Why not you, the Drummer’s roll;
The thunderous roar; pulsating Light;
The bliss that draws the Sun from night?
Listen long and listen still!
Our Mother’s call, at first, be shrill,
But ardent seeker surely finds
That patience brings reward in kind.
Shiva’s dance, as Nature’s way,
At last consumes the mind’s affray.
AUM, AUM… Thine completely,
AUM, AUM… My Mother greets me…
Joy to you