San Francisco to Frankfurt . . . Frankfurt to Rome . . . Perugia to Rotterdam . . . Amsterdam to Delhi. This has been our journey since mid-August as we’ve traveled to various Ananda centers in Europe sharing Master’s teachings. (We just arrived in Delhi today.)
International travel can be challenging and stressful, but fortunately Jyotish and I handle it fairly well. For some people, however, flying in itself causes great anxiety. They’d rather take a train, boat, or car—anything other than a plane—to reach their destination.
There’s another kind of fear of flying that affects many people on the spiritual path. It’s the apprehension about “taking off” spiritually, or in other words, taking a leap into the unknown of expanding awareness.
A longtime devotee and friend of mine told me recently, “Occasionally I’ll begin to go deeper in meditation and touch a level of awareness that I haven’t experienced before. But as my consciousness expands, I instinctively pull back. I really don’t know why.”
What is it that makes us inwardly withdraw from deeper experiences in meditation?
One common cause is a feeling that we’re not yet ready or worthy to experience expanded states of awareness. This is just the ego trying to defend its own turf. It plants in our mind the misconception that we have to earn the right to grow spiritually.
We don’t need to be “worthy” to be calm. Holding the mind in deep calmness is what opens the doors to expansion of awareness. So when a new level of depth begins to emerge in meditation, try to hold your mind and breath steady. Don’t push it away, but rather relax into it—just as we relax into our seats as a plane is lifting off the ground.
Another cause for pushing away deeper states is the thought: “I still have many duties for which I am responsible. I have to keep my feet on the ground.” Yes, most of us must fulfill our worldly responsibilities, but that doesn’t preclude going deep in meditation. Sri Yukteswar advised his disciples to “keep your feet on the ground, but your head in the clouds.” In fact, time spent in deep meditation actually helps us to fulfill our responsibilities, because it brings greater clarity of mind, energy, and intuitive perception.
Lotus Lake at Ananda Village, photographed by Barbara Bingham.
In a beautiful ceremony written by Swami Kriyananda, God says to the devotee: “Open your heart to me, and I will enter and take charge of your life.” The more we can surrender our life into God’s hands, the better things will go. So try to remember that, contrary to what the ego thinks, it is God who is responsible for our life.
Finally, we often pull back from deep meditation for fear of the unknown. We think, “I’m not sure who I will become if I lose my sense of individual identity.” I can tell you, however, having watched hundreds of devotees develop over time, that they become more clearly who they already were in essence, and more able to express their own unique soul nature.
Master said, “When this ‘I’ shall die, then shall I know who am I.” So let’s strive to transform the fear of flying spiritually into the joy of soaring in our own higher Self, in the limitless skies of divine consciousness.
With joy,
Nayaswami Devi
In her commentary (below) on this blog, Devi describes Swami Kriyananda’s spiritual allegory The Land of Golden Sunshine, which beautifully illustrates the challenge that she’s described above, and the glorious destiny awaiting each one of us when finally we offer ourselves up fully into God’s light. You might enjoy this video of a dramatic reading of that book, staged by devotees in Ananda Palo Alto in 2017.
Listen to Devi as she first reads the blog, then expands on its meaning and messages for readers with behind-the-blog commentary. Subscribe to the podcast or download the audio recording by right-clicking here. Or listen to it here (8:24):
18 Comments
Thank you. Very nice and good awakening.
Dear Deviji,
Indeed you are true mirror, i was just asking myself why i was holding my breath before every deep meditation, the merging is so mind blowing, the calm has a different dimension, as you have written i am learning to live with this ‘Love’ that is sweeping me off the ground, its kind of new, yes the ego is kind of on the edge, ‘To be Or not to be’, i guess the ego understands the choice was never there for those in Love.🌷💕.
Much thanks 🥹🌺
Hi
Just what I needed
Sometimes I feel low and think that my meditation is not going anywhere.
This reading gives me the hope and trust not to be afraid
❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏☺️
Another wonderful post, and remainder. Thanks a lot Devi!!
As always so timely. I must confess the gypsy soul in me wishes to travel and visit the places you have been.
I am grateful for this message because I noticed how I feel anxious and nervous about “advancing”. It’s comforting to know it’s my ego so it’s not based in reality. How timely! Thank you.
I was never afraid to fly. Took off and landed safely more times than i can count. Always grateful to arrive safely. It was customary to clao hands atto applud the pilots afre long overseas flights. … To surrender to the Inner Polestar Piloting System, is another story (for me). It require quietude, not the thrust of engines. >>> I an=m choosing AMTRAK from Eastern US to the Heartland of the USA. It is an overnight trip, in the train named called LAKESHORE, with stop over in Chicago. I have never been there. Am choosing this trip to intentionally, to surrender to the train’s enhine drivers. Along tracks. To contemplate, may be dive deep? To meet other travelers who have their own reasons to travel this way. Master said “Kriya is the jet plane technique / method….”.
Ok. He also covered great Distances by boat, ocean streamers, Fort passenger cars over land, and by other means, including walking.
I shall relish this first large AMTRAK ride: The pull of engines, the stops in stations.
I have been in the places you write about, in some several times. In Europe the train is the elegant way to travel. Tavellel, always a delight in luxury cars, where doors open automatically and glass windows afford vistas.
Thank you for writing about the analogy Devi. Because I am a few days away from beginning a roud trip by AMTRAK (to the 2 Great North American rivers, Missouri and Missisippi) – far from New England – intentionally slower and with a conservative carbo footprint – I want to to both: Acknowledge your message and analogy, and add another one. Alternative ways to travel offer alternative ways to surrender to engines piloted to humans. To surrender one’s habitual states of mind, is an iner choice. Thank you. Aum aum. aum.
Dear Devi, May you and Jyotish continue to uplift souls around the world into God’s perfect skies of Freedom. With you in Spirit, in Delhi, and beyond!
This essay came to my ears directly from God/Goddess. Thank you for receiving and passing on such wisdom. I’m very aware of my fear of going deeper and sometimes when the energy starts to buzz and climb, I panic and push it away. I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep my single Mom physical/financial responsibilities together, especially for my afraid-to-launch 18-year-old son. But I want to and I keep trying to relax and let go. I figure God knows my heart and will also allow it to happen when the time is right? Or is that another excuse in not allowing and trusting? Mickey Singer’s The Untethered Soul books have been fantastic roadmaps for me in relaxing and following my intuition. But I do wish the Ananda community had more of a feminist bent. What challenges women in our present day society is very different than me.
Have been battling with the question of whether to offer more outwardly and change jobs, or stay in my current job as a mail person and enjoy the Love, quietude, and inner expansion.
I always enjoyed the feeling of lightness when meditating while the plane is landing, but this made me realize that I need to ground to plumb the oceans depths too.
After reading this and with some soul searching today, I realized:
The ego wants to expand outwardly because it gets recognition.
But we need to expand inwardly then hold that expansion through the day and feel one with all.
Thank you 🙏
Bless and Joy
Wow thank you Devi! I’ve always had fear from deeper levels of meditation. When I reach a new level of consciousness, it’s a wonderful experience, but then the fear comes LATER after the experience has worn off.
Self-doubt, feeling that I don’t fit in to this world anymore, questions about my experience that I don’t think I can share with anyone… these eventually cause fear of deep meditation.
This is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone “talk” about it.
Dearest Nayaswami Devi, thank you so much for the gift of your wisdom about fearing to go deeper in meditation. This comes at exactly the right time for me! God and Gurus bless and keep you and all our worldwide Ananda family! 🙏🏼🕉️📿
O Divine Dearest of All Mother Beautiful
O Mother Saraswati
Bless thy Shy little son
OM for me is O Mother Mother Mother
“just the ego trying to defend its own turf.” “We don’t need to be “worthy” to be calm.” … “relax into it”…
ABSOLUTELY INSPIRED!!!!
Thank you Deviji
Hello my friend. Thank you for sharing the Light with so many, all over the world. I feel it brightens our souls and gives Mother Earth a greater opportunity to heal. I waited a few days to respond to this blog to make sure I search my soul to see where I might be drawing back. I can see and feel it in small ways. I notice moments of anguishing monotony akin to leaving Portand for the Village some years ago, when a very similar feeling came to me. I asked Parvati about it after a class she was giving and she answered me in a way that told me “she knew”. “It’s time for you to move to the Village”. I hold on to the memory of my first Festival Blessing, when the minister offered the gift of Master’s Love to me. “Open your heart to me and I WILL enter and take charge of your life”. I held back a small giggle and mentally heard myself say, “This is the best deal you will ever get”. And it remains so. Namaste
Thank you Nayaswami Devi for sharing your beautiful wisdom and light. Your words are inspiring and much appreciated!
Dear Nayaswami Devi Ji,
Welcome to India :-) Looking forward to meeting you and Jyotish Ji.
Thank you for the blog. Very helpful message.
Joy,
Prem
Thank you, Devi, for these helpful pieces of advice. They have come at a perfect time to help me in my sadhanas.
May Guru bless your stay in India with Jyotish: he will surely help many through your caring spiritual presence.
Darshan