An Indian friend of ours recently mentioned a phrase that really caught my attention. While guiding her son through a challenging period she told him, “Show me your friends, and I will show you your future.”
This phrase can also serve as a noteworthy reminder for ourselves. At times we can get a little careless about this aspect of life, but its significance is indeed profound.
Paramhansa Yogananda said, “The company you keep is important. If you leave your coat in a room where people are smoking, pretty soon it will smell of smoke. If you leave it outside in the garden, later on, when you bring it indoors, it will carry with it the fragrance of fresh air and flowers.
“Such is the case with the mind. Your garment of thoughts absorbs the vibrations of those with whom you mix. If you mingle with pessimists, in time you will become a pessimist. And if you mingle with cheerful, happy people, you yourself will develop a cheerful, happy nature.
“Environment is stronger than will power. To mix with worldly people without absorbing at least some of their worldliness requires great spiritual strength.
“Beginners on the spiritual path, especially, should be very careful in the company they keep. They should mix with other devotees, and try not to mingle with ego-saturated, worldly people. They should especially avoid people who are negative, even if those people are devotees.
“Whether one becomes a saint or a sinner is to a great extent determined by the company he keeps.”
We generally think of friends as the people we choose to be around. But we also spend time with the characters in our books and films. The next time you read or watch something, ask yourself, “Is this character smoke or perfume?” You might want to show the smoky ones to the door.
Another layer of friendship relates to the thoughts and memories we habitually invite into our mind. Master said, “One should not bring back any wrong thought and relive it, for then it will stay longer in the mind. Memory was given to us to keep alive only life’s good experiences and lessons. Get rid of wrong past thoughts by avoiding recalling them. If they come to mind in spite of you, refuse to entertain them. . . . Let me repeat: to remember bad experiences and dwell upon them is an abuse of God’s gift to us of memory.”
“Above Rishikesh,” by Nayaswami Jyotish.
Delving deeper yet, there is another layer that I would like to address. Beyond the physical and mental aspects lies our spiritual nature. In deep meditation when we withdraw the life-force from the body and mind, we find ourselves in a new and wondrous environment. Here we can transcend the mind altogether.
Doing this successfully allows us to go into the Inner Silence—a friend truly worth cultivating. When we visit his house we will find that he, in turn, has invited his friends. Who are they, you might ask? Among others, they are AUM, the inner light, and ever-new joy.
Listening to AUM, both inwardly and outwardly, helps us see that all things in creation, including the ego, emanate from that sound. Tuning in to this sacred vibration gradually dissolves our bundles of self-definitions, much like grains of rock salt melt when submerged in pure water.
When we look into the inner light, a magical transformation begins to happen. Gaze into it deeply, and then visualize it expanding until it fills your entire head. The divine light is an extension of God’s own intelligence, and will rewire the circuitry of your brain, amplifying the light and banishing the dark.
If we spend more time with friends like these, we will become sweet-smelling and delightful company.
In the joy of God’s presence,
Nayaswami Jyotish
Listen to Jyotish as he first reads the blog, then expands on its meaning and messages for readers with behind-the-blog commentary. Subscribe to the podcast or download the audio recording by right-clicking here. Or listen to it here (7:58):
26 Comments
What a helpful new way to look at our need for Satsang … I will cherish this advice, keep it in my heart and in my mind, and try to make good use of it. Thank you Jyotish!
Me too!
Well said
Jai Guru
Thanks Jyotish ji for this advice. I will remind myself of it. 🙏
I always had the doubt of devotees being negative how to avoid them but u have cleared my doubt in this beautiful blog .. eternally grateful for your wisdom 🕊️
Thanks for this! I will start interrupting my negative memory loop by using this new idea.
Thank you 🙏🏼
I really appreciate the expansive and helpful definition of a friend 🌹💕🌹
Thank You Ji for the inspiring blog. Will follow the same.
Joy!
Wonderful thoughts!! Precious advices that are worth following. Aum Guru.
We taught by popular Chinese idioms “近朱者赤近墨者黑” those who are close to vermilion are red; those who are close to ink are black!
Very nice, Jyotish, thanks!
😎🙏👍☺️
Thanks for the warning. How right you seem to be.
Grateful to be in your company Jyotish.
Your Talk has been very use full for me thank you Jotish.
I always enjoy reading your blog, but this talk felt somewhat self-righteous and insular to me. Aren’t we to share the light we carry with everyone? Certainly our great teachers have done so. Who am I to say where God resides?
What a great perspective to keep in mind!! So refreshing to keep in mind…more than I do at times!! Thank you.
Jai Guru
Wonderful!!!
I love that… my friends are AUM, Light and Joy!!!!
Wow! This is incredibly powerful instruction and imagery. Thank you so much!
I will engage with these friends daily.
Peace to you!
Dear Jyotish and Devi, thank you for your wonderfully inspiring blogs. I always treasure your words and meditate on them deeply. In this blog I really appreciated your comment: “When we look into the inner light, a magical transformation begins to happen. Gaze into it deeply, and then visualize it expanding until it fills your entire head. The divine light is an extension of God’s own intelligence, and will rewire the circuitry of your brain, amplifying the light and banishing the dark.” There is a deep truth in this statement I feel and isn’t that also how God becomes our greatest friend? Through the light that is extended to us in meditation, and the light in the eyes of our fellow devotees, and the whispers that come to us through Anada’s music, and the roses (and tulips) that grow in our gardens God’s sweet smelling ever new company is our ever reliable friend, beloved and future. Thank you Jyotish and Devi for all that you do for us. In Divine Friendship, Alexandra
Thank you Nayaswami Jyotish , this message is very well received and gives myself strength in my continuing efforts to come to this blissful place .I am hopeful to find this inner haven .🙏
Dear Nayaswami Jyotish Ji,
Thank you for this wonderful blog.
Great reminder… The different levels are very useful to reflect and apply.
Joy,
Prem
Yes back in the early eighties I did visit Ananda in Nevada city. I went into the temple and I sat , I could hear the sound of aum in my ears and my head. I was very happy with what I had experienced. Thankfully John
I can’t tell you how much I love this advice!
I’ve been on the spiritual path for about 55 years, and I’ve read and reread so much spiritual literature. By now, I rarely read something significantly new, (though I often still get inspired), but this article gave me a whole new paradigm.
At first I thought this article wasn’t telling me anything new, until I got to the part about also including people we hang out with in movies, TV, literature, THE NEWS!, and, since I’m a teacher, also reflecting on my students when I’m outside of class.
I then realized the INCREDIBLE amount of negative people I associate with in my mind, and how much this has been negatively affecting me!!
Thank you so much for this article!!!
The analogy of the coat absorbing the environment it’s in and the mind mirroring the company it keeps is a compelling reminder of our susceptibility to external influences.
Paramhansa Yogananda’s wordsxtending this concept to the characters we invite into our mental space through books and media is thought-provoking; it underscores the significance of mindful consumption.
Thank you for sharing these profound insights.
Aum