Choosing the Right Partner


I’ve been in a committed relationship for 4 years, but my friend and I have grown feelings for each other. My boyfriend loves me very much, and so does my friend. Both are lovely, spiritual people, and I love them both for different reasons. Part of me wants to leave my boyfriend as a new relationship will be fun and exciting, but this will hurt him and shatter the life we have built together. My friend wants to be with me so there'll be heartache regardless of who I choose. What should I do?

—Nichole, France


Dear Nichole,

To be in a committed relationship is to be loyal to one person and not share your intimate feelings with someone else. The fact that you have opened your heart to someone else means that you are not committed to your boyfriend anymore.

True, intimate relationship requires loyalty, respect, and honesty on all levels. Fun and excitement are fleeting and shallow. If you are looking for a long-term, committed relationship, there is a need for maturity and willingness to be with each other not only during fun and exciting times but also during the ups and downs of life.

Your choice of your life partner has to be based on wanting it yourself, and not doing it because of fear of hurting another person, but because you know in your heart that he is the right one for you to share your life with.

It sounds like you need to take time out from both relationships and be alone for awhile, to get more clarity and understanding of who you are, what you need, and what is really important to you.

Blessings to you,