I am 61 years old, and have suffered from inertia, deep depression and alienation since infancy.
I was diagnosed aged 35 with benign tumours in my neuroendocrine system, and have several cancers about which I have never sought-medical advice.
I have little love for life left in me, but am terrified of death and the afterlife, feeling deeply ashamed of the waste I have allowed my life to be.
I am isolated, derelict and desperate, and would much appreciate your advice.
I am sorry for the suffering that you had to endure throughout your life. The good news is, there is hope!
Paramhansa Yogananda, a great yoga master from India, brought the tools for the salvation of human beings.
His guru Sri Yukteswar said: “Forget the past. The vanished lives of all men are dark with many shames. Human conduct is ever unreliable until anchored in the divine. Everything in future will improve, if you are making a spiritual effort now.”
I would like to suggest a few things that can help you find happiness and contentment:
1. Enroll in the free offering of Yogananda’s Energization Exercises. These are 39 simple exercises that will help to awaken the life force in all your body parts.
2. Learn to meditate and practice everyday. By contacting God in meditation, you will connect with the source of all power, which will give you answers to your problems and help you to overcome fear. We offer a free learn to meditate article with many free tips for successful meditation.
3. Join the Ananda Virtual Community. You will be a part of a spiritual community and will be in touch with high minded people. You will receive great support, inspirational talks and guidance to assist you in your spiritual growth.
4. Here are a couple books that P. Yogananda wrote that can help you. You can purchase them from Crystal Clarity Publications:
How to Awaken Your True Potential
I wish you all the best in your spiritual journey and finding inner happiness,