There are so many questions I would like to ask about self realization and spirituality, there seems to be so many contradictions.
The main question I am asking myself is how do I be content & accepting, ascend and freedom. Free from Maya, delusions, contradictions, needs, questioning, looking, hurting, unhappy, punished, wrong, lost, confused, poor, drained & draining karma?
Look forward to your reply. :>)
You are asking The question that all true spiritual seekers are asking:
How do I get out of delusion and suffering, merge back with God, and live in eternal joy?
We cannot get out of delusion by thinking. We need a spiritual guide, one who has attained the state of oneness with God.
Paramhansa Yogananda has attained that state of oneness.
You read his book: The Autobiography of a Yogi. He came from India to America, to usher those who are ready and willing to do the work that will lead them back to their true home in God.
He brought the path of Self Realization, The Path of Kriya Yoga, with it’s scientific techniques of meditation to help people advance spiritually and find salvation. This path includes daily practice of meditation and service to others.
We cannot make a leap to Self Realization, and we have to start from where we are, and move forward step by step.
The book: The Essence of Self Realization, The Wisdom of Paramhansa Yogananda, contains answers to the Big questions of life. It will help clarify and answer some of your questions.
If you are interested in exploring the Path of Self Realization, you can learn more about it in: The Path of Kriya Yoga
Wising you all the best on your journey to Self-Realization,