Hi there,

When I fall in love with someone (It‘s a new feeling for me. My last relationship was 6 years ago, and this is only a few months old.) I have noticed I want to be around that person all the time, and I imagine my future with this person. How do I meditate to help me see my path of life I have chosen is right and true?

—RN, nz


Dear friend,

It’s interesting that you phrase your new relationship as “Falling in love.” In a new relationship of any kind, I would suggest you use this phrase instead, “Getting to know you.” Whether it’s a simple friendship or a romantic relationship, it’s best to take the time to get to know the other person first in a number of different ways, rather than assuming that something more is going on. I would assume an attitude of friendship as a basis, then try to have various kinds of interactions with that person such as working with them, enjoying entertainment, etc. Sexual energy can very much distort what is most important in a relationship, so it’s best to get through the initial energies of finally finding someone who may be “the one.” Take the time to see which direction this new connection is going in. Do you really like them as a person and is there good compatibility “chemistry” between you? Are you moving in the same direction spiritually? Do they meditate? How do you each feel about family life, social life, and spending time apart? Will you enjoy spending time with their family (because you most likely will!)?

How to Love and Be Loved includes helpful advice Yogananda gave on how to have spiritual relationships. He recommended looking for a partner in harmony with your moral beliefs, habits, goals, tastes and inclinations. It’s important to have a solid foundation of cooperation.  Partners who have the same ideals and continually work towards them have a love that will continually increase “until the love of their hearts burns as a single divine flame.”

If you sincerely want to know if this is the right relationship, meditation can really help you. Meditate on things such as above and try to be honest with yourself about how you really feel about this person, not what you wish you felt. Have a variety of experiences with them over time to see if there is something more there in the way of a relationship.

Regular, daily meditation will help you be more impersonal and discriminating about what is actually happening between the two of you. Each day in meditation hold up the relationship with this person in God’s light and ask that He bless and guide you in it.

If you are looking for a life partner, Yogananda’s recommends making this affirmation deeply after meditation for six months: “Heavenly Father, bless me that I choose my life companion according to Thy law of perfect soul union.” He said practicing this affirmation with deep faith will either bring you the right companion or cause circumstances to arise that will prevent a wrong relationship.

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