Overcoming Shyness



I am a shy kind of girl and have been trying to get over my shyness for quite some time.I've been able to succeed to a certain extent in being friendly with girls, but I find it still difficult to converse with boys.Its because I am afraid that I'll get attracted towards them and I don't want to be disloyal to God.I really love God and want to find Him but a part of me says that I hurt the God present in boys by ignoring them and not talking to them in my class(I am a student).Pls help.

—M, India


Dear M:

Good for you that you are trying to master your shyness. Making friends first with girls is a good way to start.

It is natural to be attracted to boys. But there is an appropriate time for everything. If now what you want is to keep your energy focused on God and not scattered by infatuation, then you should follow your own feelings, and continue to be more restrained around boys than you are around girls.

You are not disrespecting God by doing this. You are honoring Him by respecting yourself and your own aspirations.

Keep working on your friendships with girls. More success in that will give you more confidence in yourself and your ability to relate to people. Then you will find it easier also to talk with boys, without feeling so nervous about possible attractions.

After all, boys and girls are not that different from one another. We are all people, and underneath have the same needs and feelings. Whenever you are with people, whether boys or girls, think more about others than about yourself. Shyness comes from too much self-concern. Be genuinely interested in what interests others. Ask questions and listen with sincere interest to the answers.

Here is a great secret, worth knowing: Most people are a little shy or insecure in themselves. When you give to others your calm attention, genuine respect, and sincere concern for their well-being, people will be eager to be your friend.

In divine friendship,
Nayaswami Asha