More on Women and Financial Independence

Question

I had asked you this question a while back

https://www.ananda.org/ask/women-and-financial-independence/

In response, you have written a woman should make herself useful and interesting to her husband? What are the ways to make herself interesting and useful? An exceptionally beautiful woman can always keep her husband in control.Is it advisable to spend a lot on beauty treatments? I have seen many men respond that way.

—Rusha Verma, India

Answer

Dear Rusha,

Here’s how I interpret Yogananda’s words “make yourself useful and interesting”: Find inner meaning in your life, and fulfill yourself, so when you are with your husband, you are not needy. Be kind, nurturing, and caring toward him. Try to share some of his interests, so your relationship will have common ground.

Take care of yourself, eat well, exercise, and dress nicely. I don’t think that Yogananda meant to focus only on external beauty. Mainly develop your inner beauty without neglecting your outer beauty. After all, looking nice is a gesture of respect toward other people.

True marriage is about sharing and helping each other become the best that they can be in this life; trying to control another person, whether through beauty, intellect, emotional manipulation, or simply force of personality, is a recipe for disaster in a relationship.

Everything above applies just as much to husbands as to wives.

Blessings to you,

Diksha