Relationship Opportunities for Growth


Thank you so much in advance for taking time to answer my question! How do I deal with a situation where two people who are very very close to my heart are in conflict? If I try to speak, one of them gets hurt and I do not want them to get hurt. I try my best to help them but nothing seems to be working. One of them is extremely emotional and its hard to tell him anything, so I just say yes for everything. How do I handle this situation? It pains to see them suffering.

—sangeeta, India


Dear Sangeeta,

As I understand your situation, you are very close to two other individuals who do not get along. You are trying to help them resolve their disharmony with each other so there may be harmony between the three of you. You mention one person is very emotional and you simply say yes to everything he asks to keep the peace. You suffer with their suffering and would like to resolve the issues to relieve everyone’s pain including your own.

The first thing to understand is you can only be responsible for your perceptions of the truth of the matter. They other two are responsible for their perceptions of truth and will respond according to how they perceive it.

The bigger question is, “What is trying to happen in the larger scheme of things?” All relationships are stepping stones to broader understanding if we choose to see them that way. For your part, ask yourself, “How is this situation helping me to grow and to have broader sympathies? What can I learn not only in this situation but to carry with me for future? Is it appropriate on the deepest level for me to try and heal their relationship or is this something they need to grow from and resolve on their own?”

Outwardly, it may be helpful to let each of the one’s you are close to know you care deeply about each of them and would love to see them have a harmonious relationship. The rest is up to them. Meanwhile, inwardly, you can pray, “Lord, fill each of these souls with Thy peace and harmony, peace and harmony, peace and harmony” multiple times per day. In addition, pray that you also be filled with “Thy peace and harmony, peace and harmony, peace and harmony”. This simple prayer is one Yogananda prescribed to heal relationships and many of us have found it to be very effective in resolving disharmony between souls.

May you feel God’s presence ever more deeply as you live in your own calm center of peace,