If someone is deeply in love with me and has done everything to win my heart, but I don’t love them back & feel they’re not the right person for me, am I doing something wrong? I just want to be friends, but I feel so guilty for making such a good person suffer. I can’t force myself to love him romantically and consider him my soulmate which is what he wants. I have no attraction to him whatsoever but I feel like such a bad person for making him suffer. What should I do?
—Sophie, UK
Dear Sophie,
Thank you for this question. If someone truely loves you, your happiness will be foremost in their minds and hearts. They would want for you the best and for you to follow your heart. That is not an easy step for an individual to take when they have feelings as you describe but ultimately this nobel act gives one great inner freedom, peace in their heart and the magnetism to draw a relationship that will be deep and of blessing to both. For your part, you must do as you feel inwardly.
Rather than feel sorry for him, try to bless this friend, asking God to help him find his true partner. If you can, try to express what qualities you appreciate in him while being clear of your own intent. Also, consider your own behavior.
Have you done anything to mislead him? If so, it would be important to acknowledge this and even apologize for this. If not, don’t take responsibility unneccessarily and, in any case, don’t be afraid to befriend another. There is no easy way forward but if you let truth be your guide it will ultimately work out for everyone involved. Remember that truth should be loving and kind. Say only what can be helpful.
Many blessings, maria
