Expectations of Romantic Love


What is love? How can I stop injecting pain into my life with my expectations of the painfully unattainable kind of love that I’ve grown up on, thanks to movies and music? The attachment to the hope of a perfect fairy tale romance has probably been my biggest foe and greatest teacher so far but my healing time frustrates me. I pray for guidance every day, but I still find myself pining for it sometimes & I get so disappointed in myself.

—Nirja, India


Dear Nirja,

You ask a very profound question? What is Love? Swami Kriyananda wrote a song entitled, “What is Love?” and you can listen to it on the Philosophy in Song CD. Listen to it again and again. See if it has a message for you. You may also enjoy his song “Love is a Magician”.

Regarding perfect fairy tale romances, yes movies, novels, and television make quite a fortune promoting these. Good for you for realizing it is not working for you to seek this kind of love in your life. Now what?

The solution to finding perfect love is to seek it in your relationship with the Divine Beloved! Only there will you ever find what you are seeking. When you are still and peaceful in meditation ask Divine Mother to teach you how to love her more perfectly. Listen for Her response in your heart and keep listening as you ask this question again and again. Her love is more enchanting and satisfying than any human love could ever be. Develop a romance with Her that never ends.

When we truly know what love is we no longer seek the perfect fairy tale romance because it is so elusive, unsatisfying and at best temporary! Divine Love is the only lasting and true love there is!