How can I deal with the very deep feeling I have of being betrayed by someone who posed as my friend and closest supporter all my life. I know deep down they are my best friend and their love I will never be able to replace but because of how they treated me all my life I have suffered and have lost my power and my ego needs repairing. However, I feel I am re- learning a certain aspect of what love is though, through this relationship pattern because I feel I knew deep down as a child.
What you have described reminds me so much of a story in The New Path, Swami Kriyananda’s autobiography. In this story he tells of a dream he had about a friend in one life who was as you describe your friend. As the dream continued, however, in the next life the dreamer was the one who treated his friend badly.
This went on for many lifetimes until, as Swami said, he realized it would go on forever unless he forgave his friend, so that karma could be balanced. He awoke with love for his friend and the feeling of completion of that particular karma.
What Swami also did was give all his traumas to God and guru.
Herein lies our salvation, not by reacting in kind but by turning everything over to the Divine to help sort out all our feelings and confusions. How else are we to understand where we are, after lifetimes of living without God’s direction?
Be also the true friend you wish your friend would be. Be that to everyone you meet; give them God’s love (if not your own). Be kind and helpful to all you meet.
In this way, you will find joy coming into your life, and in this way also, you will help the karma between you and your friend.
Joy to you,