Condolences for a loss


I have lost my father recently. I miss him terribly many times in the day. I want to have some contact. he never comes in my dream also. though my mother sees him dreams often. has he forgotten me. Is it final goodbye. the thought makes me miserable. God bless him always.

—g s nayyar, india


I am so very sorry for your loss. And I apologize that I let some time go by before replying to you.

My own husband died a little over 2 years ago, so I do understand what your family is going through. My grown children were ages 19, 27 and 31 at the time. Our hearts were broken, but we have gotten stronger with time.

First, be grateful that your mother, at least, is having the dreams about him, for they were deeply connected in life, so she is able to receive his presence in her dreams. With my family, I came to see that every true dream was a gift to all of us — one that increased our understanding and love.

When a soul crosses over, they have entered a new dimension. It isn’t necessarily very easy for the soul to reach back into our dimension and communicate through a dream. Or, another way to look at it is that they may be trying, but we also have to lift ourselves up toward the astral dimension to be able to receive a dream. The book, Karma and Reincarnation: The Wisdom of Paramhansa Yogananda can offer deeper insights.

Quotes from Paramhansa Yogananda on life after death:

When a dear one dies, instead of grieving unreasonably, realize that he has gone on to a higher plane at the will of God, and that God knows what is best for him. Rejoice that he is free. Pray that your love and goodwill be messengers of encouragement to him on his forward path. This attitude is much more helpful. Of course, we would not be human if we did not miss loved ones; but in feeling lonesome for them we don’t want selfish attachment to be the cause of keeping them earthbound. Extreme sorrow prevents a departed soul from going ahead toward greater peace and freedom.

To send your thoughts to loved ones who have passed on, sit quietly in your room and meditate upon God. When you feel His peace within you, concentrate deeply at the Christ center, the center of will at the point between the two eyebrows, and broadcast your love to those dear ones who are gone.Visualize at the Christ center the person you wish to contact. Send to that soul your vibrations of love, and of strength and courage. If you do this continuously, and if you don’t lose the intensity of your interest in that loved one, that soul will definitely receive your vibrations. Such thoughts give your loved ones a sense of well-being, a sense of being loved. They have not forgotten you any more than you have forgotten them.

Send your thoughts of love and goodwill to your loved ones as often as you feel inclined to do so, but at least once a year — perhaps on some special anniversary. Mentally tell them, “We will meet again sometime and continue to develop our divine love and friendship with one another.” If you send them your loving thoughts continuously now, someday you will surely meet them again. You will know that this life is not the end, but merely one link in the eternal chain of your relationship with your loved ones.

So, please focus deeply on the fact that you can send your love, and he will receive it. You have control over that. And you can pray to God and Guru to be blessed with a sacred dream of your father. If one comes, please write it down so it can bless you again and again.

And, finally, a few years ago, Swami Kriyanandaji recommended another book to a young woman when her father died: Talking to Heaven: A Medium’s Message of Life After Death, by James Van Praagh. On my own, I had found this book after my husband died, and I found it to be true… So I was comforted to learn that Swamiji had recommended it, as well.

May God comfort you now and always,
Mary Kretzmann

Ananda Healing Prayer Ministry