Dealing with difficult people


I was badly treated and mentally tortured by my brother in law , who is abusive. I hate him, but one of my friend who is psychic is forcing me to love him and pray for him. Where as my heart can't do that.

Is not loving people who hurt you an ideal of great master's. how can an ordinary man love his enemy.Forget loving is it possible to even pray for cruel people?

—Aditya, Atlanta


Dear Aditya,

I’m sorry to hear how much you’ve suffered from your brother-in-law’s abuse. Of course, when we hate someone, we suffer all the more, and that is why your psychic friend wants you to love him.

If we can begin to tune in to every person as a soul, a perfect child of God, no matter what their outward personality, it gives us a beginning for releasing hatred. One of the important ingredients in being able to do this is meditation — that we first begin to experience our own soul nature.

It won’t work simply to try to talk ourselves into the philosophy that everyone is a perfect soul. But, as we begin to touch even a tiny bit of the joy and love in our own soul through meditation, we begin to feel deeper connections with the world around us. We also feel happier in ourselves and less likely to be as sensitive to how others treat us.

When you can begin to know that your brother-in-law truly is a soul, you will feel compassion for a soul trapped in a hateful and unpleasant personality.

If you want to explore meditation, you can go to our Meditation Support site. Please try this, if you haven’t already. If you are already a meditator, and want to explore this problem some more, please feel free to write again.

In divine friendship,