Why do I feel pain and longing for freedom inside myself?


I am 24, a graduate in Yoga and have been teaching Yoga as my profession to make a living. I also am regular to self yoga practice ( basic pranayama and asana). But this doesn’t complete me. Some pain hidden inside. A quest in me taking a deeper space now, more often I think how it feels to be free, how it is to be untied, how is it to be fearless and unlimited. I don’t know what is happening and what these feelings are?

Please guide.


—Ankit , India


Dear Ankit,

The practice of yoga and meditation is a journey to Self-Realization and to freedom.

The practice of meditation is memory (smriti): you begin to remember that your true reality is a spark of the divine light—ever perfect, ever free—and that spark yearns to reunite with the light.

Your description of what you are experiencing is the beginning of the process, where you are starting to remember your true Self.

At the same time, you are still confined to a physical body and the five senses, which are limiting. When you become aware of the two realities and the contrast between them, it is painful. But there is hope.

As you continue to practice yoga and meditation daily, with dedication and devotion to God, you become less attached to the body and personality, able to live in this world, fulfilling your duties, but with less and less attachment.

You’ll gradually find fulfillment in the inner Self and allow the inner joy and peace of meditation to sustain you, and be your reality. And the world outside of your inner Self, will not be able to hypnotize you.

Ultimately, you will attain the state of yoga, union with God, and live in the consciousness of ever-new-joy and freedom, even while living in a physical body.

I highly recommend that you read Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramhansa Yogananda.

You can download the book for free, here.

To learn about meditation, click: meditation

Blessings on your journey to freedom,

Nayaswami Diksha