How Can I Avoid Getting Hurt in Relationships?


I have attracted several relationships one after the other (around 6), in which I have ended up getting hurt.

Some were brief hurts while others were very deep. Few were good guys but most of them just wanted to have fun. Yoganandji says that what we suffer today are a result of our past bad karmas and we can improve our future by mitigating karma now.

How do I know what bad karma I had done? Unless I know where I went wrong, how can I improve my karma on this front?

—Venu, India


Dear Venu,

Your first karma to improve might be: awareness of people. Before entering into anything serious, find out what is behind the nice words of a man. If you sense that in truth he only wants fun, leave him alone. Don’t enter into anything physical for a long time. Tell him, “I am a nun,” and if he loses interest in you, then he doesn’t love you.

Another karma to solve might be your need to be with someone, as you have had many relationships, “one after the other.” Neediness always creates problems. First learn to live happily by yourself for a longer time, and then, if it feels right, enter into a relationship which you think can last for a lifetime. Otherwise just be good friends with people. Swami Kriyananda taught us that one basis for a good relationship is if both sides can happily be on their own.

Work on getting happy, strong and independent in yourself, and nobody will be able to hurt you. Yoga and meditation will strengthen that inner center, so that you can “stand unshaken in the midst of crashing worlds.”

Meditate on this: “My happiness will never come from any man, but from inside, and from God. He is my true Lover.” You will get the best karma in this way.

In divine friendship,