How Can I Overcome Lust?

Question

How can I overcome lust?This delusion is very strong in me.I also have this tendency from the past of not looking into the eyes of men.This means I have been trying to overcome it in my past lives also.I try to avoid the company men to avoid any attraction.But in this world its not possible.Is this some past Karma?Can I overcome it by not getting married?I love God & pray for devotion but when mind starts to wander I can't help it.Yogananda said marriage is a compromise& I dont want it.Pls guide

—m, India

Answer

Dear m,

This particular attraction of the opposite sex is basic to human nature. It’s not bad in itself. What makes it bad are the thoughts of the person about it. With anything, we should not think that our thoughts or feelings are bad, nor should we try to suppress them. It is best to realize we have these thoughts and then try to do something about it that will help us, keeping always a positive attitude toward these thoughts.

If our thoughts turn toward lust, etc., catch the thought before it becomes all consuming. Give these thoughts to your guru, to God, to a realized being, and then do something else that will engross your mind and keep you from further thinking about that subject. Habits can be formed easily, and this is one habit you do not want to start or continue. Break the habit with positive thinking, helping others, doing projects that you enjoy. Keep your energy high with devotion and love for all.

See the object of your attention, so to speak, as your brother or your father and treat him as such, while giving all your feelings to God.

With a sense of freedom that comes from not thinking about the problem, answers and intuitions will come to you that when tested will bring you to a place that will be right for you. Keep praying and loving all with the love you feel from God and guru.

Bless you, Seva