I have been searching and searching and cannot come any closer to God. I cannot seem to find my path. I have studied all philosophies and religions. I keep coming back to yoga. How will I know if Ananda is my path or if my ego keeps wanting to be entertained and has me keep searching. It is exhausting.
—Bonnie Hoffman, USA
God is closer to you than your own thoughts and feelings. It sounds as if in the intensity of searching for God, your tension and doubt (about finding Him) is actually pushing God away from you. (This is actually not uncommon. To some extent most seekers do the same thing.)
Can you take a moment, take a deep breath in and out, relax, and say, “God, you are with me right now.”
It is probably time to stop studying philosophies and religions for a while and see if you can open your heart to God. In Ananda’s purification ceremony we are guided with these words: “The Master says, “Open your heart to me, and i will enter and take charge of your life.”
Begin wherever you are to open your heart to God. Try to feel your heart (in the spine behind the physical heart is the heart chakra). Try to feel love there, and offer it upwards to God.
Relax with the process. Tension drives inner peace and joy away. The essence of yoga and meditation is learning to relax — not downward as we do in sleep, but learning to relax our energies inward and upward.
If you know any devotional chant or prayer that inspires you, you can offer that to God with the simplicity of a child.
God is seeking us even more than we are seeking Him. We need to be able to open ourselves to Him with love and trust.
See if you can practice some of these things, and if they are helpful.
I am praying that God bless you in this process,