I am a 40 year old man. I have been meditating from 13 yrs . Also I have been masturbating for the past 22 years since I am not married. My life is in danger; I have no career, I have large debts, and I am dependent for basic needs on others. I am in a position where I can’t even commit suicide. I am a lover of the great Yoganandaji. Please help and guide me.
No matter what challenges you face, try to always feel God’s presence with you. To make this real, it’s important to meditate with techniques that will take you deeper into your soul qualities. You don’t mention what type of meditation you practice, but the techniques which Paramhansa Yogananda taught are very valuable in helping us find our source in the Divine. Here is a link that may be helpful to you: Kriya Yoga
In regards to sexual challenges, such as masturbation, it’s important to try to catch your desires as soon as they surface in your awareness. At that point you need to shift your awareness and energy, to something that is positive and uplifting, such as listening to uplifting music or feeling God’s presence. Chanting is another very powerful way to shift the focus.
Another suggestion is do something physical such as exercise; I would recommend Yogananda’s Energization Exercises or the yoga asanas. What these accomplish is that you are able to dynamically engage your energy in a positive direction which you can feel as a reality and not just hope for the best.
It’s also very important to be in the company of other spiritual truth-seekers. As Yogananda said, “environment is stronger than willpower”. The magnetism of other devotees will help you in your own efforts. Praying to God and Guru for guidance and support is important as well. Let your mind constantly be in the blessings of divine grace.
Being able to stand on your own two feet is a basic requirement if you want to move forward with your life. Take the next steps in front of you: find a job where you can direct positive energy; find a way to pay down your debts, even if it’s in small increments; feel a confidence within you that God is giving you support in all that you do so you needn’t be dependent so much on others. Pray to God and Guru and be open to the flow of grace and guidance that they offer.
Blessings on your spiritual journey.