Is Premarital Sex Wrong?


I know this question has been asked frequently. But is premarital sex wrong? If a man and woman love each other intend to marry — and do it moderately, and are have spiritual inclination.

A happily married man told me that he was spiritually inclined and had prayed to God to give him the right partner. He found her and indulged in it but not frequently and then married her and they are leading a happy life.

—Niraj, India


Dear Niraj,

Perhaps the best way to approach this question is to put it in perspective of what is the ideal and then see how that plays out in the world we live in!

The ideal is to not let sex be a strong emphasis in a relationship, and even more so, before there is a commitment such as marriage. It would be better to have the emphasis on divine friendship with one’s partner which allows a deeper and more fulfilling relationship to unfold; one that merges the personal love for one another into the one love of God. If a couple can redirect their energies from sex to a more uplifting love then certainly that will help the couple grow spiritually.

But for many couples this isn’t an easy proposition! If a couple still feels drawn to have premarital sex then hopefully it is with an attitude of including God in that experience. A suggestion for any couple developing their relationship is to try to meditate together so the bond between them is strengthened at a deeper level; if that energy is strong then the magnetism of God’s presence will be with them and they will tune into what is appropriate from their own inner experience.


Nayaswami Pranaba