Spiritual marriage


Hello Anandas

I am experiencing a situation in my life that I love my wife with utmost care & affection including making of love to her but I can feel that I can make something beyond this and can enjoy the same in a way. But I am not sure whats that ? I would appreciate if you can help me on this (Whats that beyond?)


—Anand, Singapore


Dear Friend,

What lies beyond human love in marriage is the kind of love that seeks nothing in return, and is inspired by God.

In India it isaid that the husband should strive to love his wife as an incarnation of Divine Mother (and the wife should love her husband as an incarnation of God in some form such as Krishna, Rama, Brahma etc).

Human, romantic love is tinged with self-interest, self-gratification, needs for comfort and approval, and, consequently, affirms our sense of ego and separateness. In such love we emphasize what is different and separate: why we love THIS person, for her beauty, kindness, and so on.

A devotee must be careful, however, not to shun or disdain marital love for all of its pitfalls, lest we close our hearts and in failing to fulfill our dharma and commitments incur more (bad) karma.

Instead, try to increasingly see in your wife how she reflects divine attributes, soul qualities. In turn let that remind you of God’s presence being reflected in her. Express your appreciation and love for her in ways that are increasingly free from self-interest or self-seeking. Let whatever physical expression of love takes place emphasize and include an sincere sharing of love and caring. Be careful to avoid having sex only for self-gratification and when you perchance fall into this, hold yourself mentally apart from it.

Share your life with her in noble deeds of service to your family, neighborhood, church, local community. Enjoy together arts and culture, fine music, the beauties of nature. Let your communion and love for each other move increasingly toward non-physical forms and a higher, aesthetic, and spiritual sharing.

What lies beyond ordinary marital love is God’s love which is without condition, without limitation, and without fail.