I am in a rather peculiar position in life. Almost everyday for one half of the day, I have an immense overpowering longing to give up all my worldly desires and live just for god.How I long for the life of a saint described in AOY! Then during the 2nd half of the day I take a tail flip! All my ambitions and desires return and my ind says "Goodness! what was I thinking earlier!" So thats my predicament, I seem to be stuck in limbo, unable to act one way or the other ..can you please help me?
—Ashwath, India
Dear Ashwath,
The pendulum of opposite responses to your daily life is something to strive to gradually reduce its extremes until you remain centered regardless of whether you are engaged in the world or withdrawn in meditation or retreat.
See these responses as merely reactions rather than inspirations or desires. Strive rather to stay in the peace of meditation as you enter your day’s work. Whether in a monastery or a marketplace, you are the same and the Divine within you is the same and the Divine at the heart of every person and in every atom of creation is the same.
If you focus upon deepening your contact with God, with improving your attitudes of service, joy, and devotion in everything you do, you will develop the spiritual magnetism to draw to you whatever circumstances (people etc) are for your own highest good. So whether that means you sell real estate or meditate in a cave, your path to freedom will be uniquely yours.
You didn’t mention meditation but I assume you have a meditation and prayer practice on a regular basis. This is the best way to make “contact” and to experience your own center. With this daily immersion into the Self, you will gradually be guided increasingly during the day’s activities to live more from your center, divinely mindufl and intuitively creative in harmony with a Higher Power!
Blessings, Hriman
