Temporary Pleasure, Lasting Problem


I always prided myself on being the ideal husband. I did my best to follow the teachings to the last word. In the past few months, a co-worker and I became extremely close very quickly. There is a physical attraction which I have found difficult to fight. I now find myself violating my own ideals and everything I have ever stood for. I feel like my spirituality is crumbling to loss of control, physical desire and breach of marital loyalty. Something I never thought I would ever do. Please advise

—Robert, USA


Dear Robert,

I commend you in seeking advice relative to your situation. I highly recommend you continue seeking advice with professional couples counseling. If your wife refuses to go please go for your self. You have some serious decisions that need to be explored and investigated with a professional. If you are willing to learn and improve your thought process, you may gain insight into what you are looking for outside of your your self and your marriage. You may also learn how to clean up the mess you and your co-worker may have created. But, most important, learn how to keep this from happening again.

He who is without sin cast the first stone. We all make mistakes. Learning from our mistakes is extremely important. From my humble point of view, one of the worst things many of us do is not learn from our mistakes. We sweep it under the rug then find our selves perplexed when it happens again. Know there’s a possibility your subconscious mind/ego thinks that you can get a way with this situation again. It’s easy to blame the situation on the physical attracting but know it’s much deeper than that. Remember, inside of all of us is God’s Grace and when we merge our will towards God’s will we have the power to keep this type of attraction from destroying lives and the lives of those who love and care about us.

You say you pride your self “on being the ideal husband.” It sounds like your sense of pride has confused your inner image of what it means to be an “ideal husband and what it means to follow the teachings. Being an “ideal husband” and following the teaching is easy until the wrong magnetism (karma) shows up. When the wrong magnetism shows up in our life we have to learn to call on God’s Grace to guide us through the karma.

If I may offer this suggestion, pray for strength, guidance, and the will to get back in the direction that leads to true success. Do everything possible to be a “good man. a good devotee, and a true friend.” Deepen your meditation and spend more time with people who can inspire you to greatness. Seek God at this time like never before and your chances of overcoming predicament may increase drastically.

I welcome your comments.

In His compassion.