How does one know, when on the journey towards self-realization, when they should let someone pass out of their life- is there certain hallmarks in a relationship that will give straight forward guidance (for one can also see a difficult relation as an opportunity to learn and grow from)? How does one know if a relationship is helping ones growth or stunting it? (as one can tell oneself that the difficulties are meant to be worked through and are a challenge to 1self that needs to be overcome)
—Melissa Bunt, USA
Dear Melissa,
We often labor over decisions in life, when actually what we want to do is recognize what life is telling us, and the direction in which the flow of life is taking us. Although there are abundant clues showing us the way, we are often blind to them. Our challenge as truth seekers, then, is to really want to know the truth (the ego doesn’t), and to cooperate with it.
There is one sure formula for knowing what is right: ask God sincerely and constantly, in every prayer and meditation, and be open for His answer, which you can feel in your heart once the emotions and desires have been stilled.
Not so easy! But with practice, it gets easier. “Ask and the answer shall be given unto you.” It takes daily practice to learn how to ask in the right way — without prejudice, open to the truth; to clear away our own desires in the matter; to perceive the various ways in which the response will come.
Letting go is an essential part of knowing the truth, letting go of our attachment that things be one way or the other. Swami Kriyananda offers a powerfully effective technique:
“Nothing is ours. No one belongs to us. Mentally, we should make a bonfire of our love for God, and cast into it all attachments, all desires, all hopes and disappointments.
It helps mentally to examine one’s heart every evening, and liberate it anew of all desires. Pluck out from your heart any burrs of new attachments that you find clinging there. Cast them joyfully into the fire of devotion.
Pray to God energetically, “I destroy all my attachments. They are no longer mine, Lord. I am free in Thee!”
If you can do this ,become really detached, you will come to know the signficance of this relationship in your life at this time.
Blessings on your journey to Self-realization
Shivani
